Topic is Sleeping.
twicefooled (original poster member #42976) posted at 3:57 PM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020
I have dated people in the past 7 yrs since my divorce but have never felt that I truly loved any of them.
I Love You is a HUGE thing for me and I only say it if I feel it. I did have one boyfriend tell me he loved me, and I panicked and said "thank you" I felt like an ass but it was how I felt.
I've been dating a truly wonderful man since the summertime. I've posted about his here previously. Everything that he stands for is amazing. We have the same values, the same future goals, similar parenting styles (both of our exes have addiction issues so we are both primary caregivers to our children).
Last weekend he told me he loved me. I felt it in my soul and I told him I love him too. Instead of feeling dread (like when my one boyfriend told me this) I felt elation and happiness.
Not much of a reason for posting except to make it real and follow up on my "multidating" thread from a few months ago :)
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:44 PM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020
This is wonderful!! I'm very happy for you.
devotedman ( member #45441) posted at 10:23 PM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020
Excellent news. Thanks for posting and congratulations. :)
Me: 2xBS b 1962 xWW after 2 decades, xWGF after almost 1.
Amelia Pond: Who are you?
The Doctor: I don't know yet. I'm still cooking.
ENFP-A. Huh.
LemonSpearmint ( new member #75630) posted at 10:25 PM on Thursday, November 12th, 2020
So happy for you! Congratulations!
Me: BW 40 / Him: WH 42
Dday July 15 2020
3 month EA/PA - Working on R
Keep moving forward
Palmetto9213 ( new member #71217) posted at 12:01 AM on Friday, November 13th, 2020
Thanks for sharing this update. It gives me hope that it IS possible to trust again.... that the feelings and love you experience after having gone through the trauma of infidelity can be real and genuine.
BS-59Y/O Female
WS-66 Y/O Male
Married 13 years
Divorce finalized 6-22-20
"Darling-that soft spot you have for broken things is going to make you bleed"....but I decided I was not willing to bleed to death!
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:16 AM on Friday, November 13th, 2020
Love this update. Great news!
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
twicefooled (original poster member #42976) posted at 2:20 PM on Friday, November 13th, 2020
I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to trust someone again.
The boyfriend that said "I love you" to me ended up moving in another woman weeks after we broke up. I'm pretty sure he had her in the wings already when we broke up. It made me put my walls up even higher.
But with K, I just don't feel that need to protect myself from him - if anything, he goes out of his way to make sure that I know how he feels about me. I feel safe with him.
But one thing is that even though I love this man, I will never allow someone to define me. So if this doesn't end up working out, I know for sure that I will be just fine. Sad, but fine. Because the last 7 years have taught me that I can handle absolutely anything thrown my way and ultimately I will always be able to rely on myself. But it's also nice to know that my ability to trust was not obliterated by my exh....I just needed to meet someone worthy of my trust.
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
staystrong101 ( member #41068) posted at 10:14 PM on Saturday, November 14th, 2020
Twicefooled, I’m very happy for you! Your post resonates with me. I, too, recently shared I love you’s with my BF. He’s a good man. And after 7 years also. And funny, or maybe not funny, a previous BF said it to me and I also replied “thank you.” It’s so great to know we can heal, learn to trust again little by little. It sounds like you and I could’ve settled for another relationship quickly. But I’m so glad I kept my standards high. We can make it on our own, yes. But it’s wonderful to find love again. Best wishes to you and your relationship.
twicefooled (original poster member #42976) posted at 4:33 PM on Sunday, November 15th, 2020
staystrong 101, it totally makes sense in my situation about the 7yrs.....we were together for almost 16 yrs and "they" say that it takes about half the relationship time to truly heal :) Coupled with the 3-5yr healing time line from an affair....I finally feel free <3
May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.
*********When you know better, you can do better*************
Topic is Sleeping.
