SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Any infidelity within same sex marriages?
My wife cheated on me with a friend.
It gets old constantly hearing in podcasts and books about cheating husbands. Would love some insight on women cheating on women,

Hello, big3mom. Welcome to the greatest club that no one ever wanted to join.

In the "I Can Relate" forum there's a thread entitled: "Spouses with Same Gender APs" It's not very active.

Generally speaking, same sex marriages aren't that different when it comes to surviving infidelity. I think you'll find the same support and guidance applies.

So, feel free to share.

Sorry you're in a position that led you here. You'll find alot of folks who can relate to your pain

There are plenty of threads with betrayed husbands whose wives have cheated on them. I'd guess it's probably close to about a 50/50 split between the sexes here. There aren't many same sex threads, but I would imagine the stories, trauma and advice would still apply. Betrayal is betrayal, afterall.

The fact that it was with a friend adds another layer of betrayal to it, but again, it's not that uncommon. Check out the pinned posts at the top, and check out the healing library. There's a wealth of information in there.

[This message edited by Pogre at 12:49 AM, Wednesday, October 22nd]

Hi big3mom, and welcome to SI. In the JFO (Just Found Out) forum, there are posts pinned to the top that we encourage new members to read. There are also some posts there that aren't pinned and have great information, which you can find by looking for the bull's eye icon. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and has a lot of good resources.

We do have some members with same sex relationships and others where their opposite sex partner cheated with a same sex partner.

If you can, IC (individual counseling) with a betrayal trauma specialist can be helpful. As mentioned, betrayal is betrayal. Our brains don't differentiate between betrayal trauma and trauma from having a cheetah chase you down for dinner. And you have suffered a double betrayal because the AP was a friend, so it's another knife in the back.

Please take care of yourself now. If you're having trouble with depression or sleep, please talk to your doctor for some meds or possible other supplements may help.

Sure. All relationships are vulnerable to cheating. We've had a few same sex couples that I can remember. Some split; some stayed together.

I'm in a small group - I'm a man; my W cheated with a woman.

I'm as sure as I can be that there's a lot of similarities among BSes, no matter what the sexual identities of the people involved may be. If you read a lot here, my bet is that you'll find people thinking and feeling pretty much as you do, irrespective of gender.

And I'm as sure as I can be that all BSes need to deal with immense amounts of grief, anger, fear, shame, whatever....

All I'll say now, since I know so little about your sitch, is to have faith in yourself to heal. I don't know if you'll stay together or split, but I'm as sure as I can be that you can heal, survive, and thrive.

Following the advice above is a good start.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 5:15 PM, Wednesday, October 22nd]