Wonderinghome (original poster new member #87063) posted at 4:23 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2026
Im writing on here to maybe get some clarity.
About 2 weeks ago after giving her ww (34F) the grey rock treatment we started hanging out every weekend and its been pretty good til yesterday... i told her why does she still have me blocked on intsa and why she has been acting strange since sunday. I had a feeling that she went to have lunch w the AP but when i said that she literally said this is too soon and "it’s not the right time for us to be exploring something new. The wounds are still fresh and we are not healed " im left confused because just two weeks ago she was saying she wants to start slow and start by dating each other again. Has anyone successfully done this? Im on board with doing it slow but when i told her i need you to pause any outside distractions like im doing to truly focus on trying to start something for us and our family i was met with complete resistance.
Im so confused and just like a nervous anxious wreck again. The concept of family for me is making it work through anything but i cant force her to commit truly and im just left wondering will i ever get my family back.
Fiance had an affair after telling she was checked out.
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 5:05 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2026
Not the right time for you two to be exploring something new…
Friend – she’s offering you the role of the OM in her new relationship!
To be clear: She’s offering to cheat on him with you.
Are you OK with that?
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
kenny55 ( member #23014) posted at 9:26 PM on Wednesday, April 15th, 2026
Listen to Bigger. Seriously, don't do the pock me dance. It never works. She is wanting you to be her safety net if the other relationship doesn't work out. YOU deserve better.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 1:04 AM on Thursday, April 16th, 2026
She's "managing" you. There's no truth or authenticity, only manipulation. It's "damage control." Typical, unfortunately.
It seems that she is intent on controlling the terms of any possible reconciliation. That doesn't bode well, generally speaking.
My suggestion to you would be to accept nothing short of "all-in" from her. Anything less than that is a recipe for more pain and anguish for you.
IOW, state your terms and conditions deliberately and clearly, establish your own boundaries, and then watch and observe her choices.
[This message edited by Unhinged at 1:06 AM, Thursday, April 16th]
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 10:52 PM on Monday, April 27th, 2026
I'm confused. She cheated and now she is dictating how fast or slow the reconciliation will happen? In fact she has you blocked on Instagram speaks volumes and obviously not in a good way. She doesn't want you to see what she's doing there
If you continue to entertain her in this fashion she will drag this out for as long as possible because she has the best of both worlds. My advice is to turn around and start walking in the other direction and not look back. Reconciliation will not work with a spouse who is not 100% committed
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
BackfromtheStorm ( member #86900) posted at 6:57 AM on Tuesday, April 28th, 2026
Not the right time for you two to be exploring something new…
Friend – she’s offering you the role of the OM in her new relationship!
To be clear: She’s offering to cheat on him with you.
Are you OK with that?
Exactly.
Is she youyr wife or are you the Other Man who she cheated on her husband with? Because it is unclear, from what I read I had the impression you are the Other Man, the Affair Partner of a married woman.
IF you are the husband.... 180 and tell them divorce papers are on their way.
She is treating you like a fucking doormat.
There is no reconciliation, is the Betrayed Partner the only one who decides IF they want to try to reconcile. She if riding the dick carousel right now, not a park ride you want to be part of.
And check yourself for STDs.
[This message edited by BackfromtheStorm at 6:58 AM, Tuesday, April 28th]
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
