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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

Off Topic :
My terrible, horrible, no-good day (yesterday)

Topic is Sleeping.
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 11:53 PM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023

Thanks everyone. Somehow I've managed to get through the last couple of days - dealing with stuff around here to do with moving has sometimes taken my mind off of it. I just keep finding stuff to do, like clean off the front of my car which was dead bug-ridden after our drive back from the mountains a couple of weeks ago.

I told people at church today, and a couple of women told me of their similar breast cancer stories.

One step in front of the other.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8793891
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 8:20 PM on Monday, June 5th, 2023

Sorry to hear the news of your diagnosis. Will keep you in my prayers.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8794024
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 1:29 AM on Wednesday, June 7th, 2023

Thanks PricklePatch - I appreciate it. I can't believe it's only been four days since I found out - I feel like I've aged ten years.

Meeting with the breast surgeon tomorrow afternoon. Saw my internist today and had some reassuring conversations with him.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8794213
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:10 PM on Wednesday, June 7th, 2023

I know this doesn't sound great, but honestly if you get a cancer this is one that is cureable. So the screening tests did their job.
I hope you get a plan and good news.

For all that is reading here please get your screening tests. Mammogram, colonoscopy, lung scan if you have been a smoker, PSA and prostate exams for the men. Do the screenings. They save lives.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20293   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8794245
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WalkinOnEggshelz ( Administrator #29447) posted at 4:47 PM on Wednesday, June 7th, 2023

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through. We just sold our house in March and I understand the stress you are going through. We had an initial offer plus a back up too.

It sounds like this was caught very early which is good news. I hope you can work out a good treatment plan that works with your move.

If you keep asking people to give you the benefit of the doubt, they will eventually start to doubt your benefit.

posts: 16686   ·   registered: Aug. 27th, 2010   ·   location: Anywhere and everywhere
id 8794268
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:12 PM on Wednesday, June 7th, 2023

I know this doesn't sound great, but honestly if you get a cancer this is one that is cureable. So the screening tests did their job.

This is exactly what my daughter said to me - "Momma, if you're going to get cancer, you know how to get it right... surgery and it's gone." My first cancer, endometrial, was caught at a Stage 1/Grade 2, so all I had to do was the hysterectomy and follow-ups. I know they're going to recommend radiation and possibly Tamoxifen, but those are issues I can discuss with an oncologist once we get to Boston.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8794296
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 8:38 PM on Sunday, June 11th, 2023

My week didn't end with anything positive. I woke up Friday morning to a angering surprise... I'm signed up to get text messages whenever a charge is made to our credit card. When I grabbed my phone first thing, I had TWELVE charges come through overnight while I was sleeping. UGH!! So somehow our CC got compromised and someone went on a spending spree. So I had to spend some time on the phone with the credit card company, going through each charge and amount to verify it was not us. They closed out the CC, then later Friday night, H and I spent about an hour and a half going through all of our monthly recurring charges, changing them to a different CC. There were about 18 of them and of course, each website's platform has its own unique way of doing this.

The charges were all over the country... FL, DE, NV, UT, NY, IL, CA. And some high end retailers - Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, etc,. and all online purchases obviously since they were made during hours at which no stores were open. I don't get it - these people buy stuff and have to put in a shipping address. Do they think this doesn't provide some sort of evidence of fraud???

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8794855
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 4:12 PM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

I don't get it - these people buy stuff and have to put in a shipping address. Do they think this doesn't provide some sort of evidence of fraud???

Usually they recruit a reshipper with a work from home scam to receive and forward the merchandise stolen overseas.

posts: 1621   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8794945
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 8:10 PM on Monday, June 12th, 2023

You've just opened up my mind to a whole new world I had no idea existed.

So wouldn't these reshippers be committing a crime? Or do they not know that they're dealing in stolen merchandise?

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8794990
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:08 PM on Tuesday, June 13th, 2023

So wouldn't these reshippers be committing a crime? Or do they not know that they're dealing in stolen merchandise?

Proper term is money/package mule. In the early days of skimming the big boys would clone the cards and send them out across the country with the mules all draining as fast as they can from multiple locations. The banks automated fraud systems shut those down pretty quick. The mules can be charged with receiving and transporting stolen merchandise. Really should know better along the lines of if it's too good to be true it probably is. Work puts me in contact with college kids. We get a handful of them that fall for the Money mule scam and fake checks every year.

posts: 1621   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8795054
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 9:10 PM on Wednesday, June 14th, 2023

So somehow numbnuts came up with the money, and our house closed today - transfer of funds has taken place. Now we have four weeks until we have to move out.

We are on the East Coast now, and have set our own eyes on the demo of the house we are renovating. They aren't kidding when they say gut job! It's good to see it started. We also signed a lease today with an apartment complex, so we have a temporary address to give our movers. Still have to find a storage unit for stuff that won't fit in the apartment.

On the cancer front, surgery is scheduled for June 23rd. I started to make some phone calls today to get my foot in the door for some health care providers in Boston. I've called two offices for PCP and have one appt. lined up for later July when we arrive out here. Am waiting to hear back from the other office. I also called a dedicated breast care center, affiliated with one of the major teaching hospitals out here, to get an idea of how I make this transition work. I also have a video call this afternoon with the NP at my surgeon's office to go over pre-op and post-op necessities.

I honestly don't know if my brain can handle everything it's needing to process. And as usual, the three-hour time difference is messing with my circadian rhythm.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8795248
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 9:29 PM on Wednesday, June 14th, 2023

Congratulations on getting your house sold.

Just tackle one thing at a time. Any one of those things you have to manage would be a lot. It sounds like you are very organized and on top of things.

Sending you positive thoughts for the 23rd.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3674   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8795255
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 2:03 AM on Thursday, June 15th, 2023

Oh WOW!! That is huge, #4! Congratulations on a major load off of you both! I know it was gritty and irritating and you might have wished for a different buyer, but the white water rapids are now behind you, keep paddling!

posts: 2192   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8795294
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:12 PM on Thursday, June 15th, 2023

I've called two offices for PCP and have one appt. lined up for later July when we arrive out here. Am waiting to hear back from the other office.


This is great!!! I seriously mean it. There are not nearly enough PCP's out there, and often can take up to 6 months to establish with one. So that is awesome.

Make sure that your surgeon, and Path reports are fully released so the Beantown providers have full access, make sure you sign ROI's from all providers in your current locale.

Glad you have a date for procedure. That helps to alleviate some of the anxiety.
Sending you good MoJo, and healing thoughts.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20293   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8795332
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 4:33 PM on Thursday, June 15th, 2023

Number4, I am sorry I have not posted to you sooner. I've been swamped with work. Hearing the "C Word' is so scary. But those of us fortunate to catch it early are very lucky. The waiting in between phone calls can be so nerve-wracking. It sounds like tings are going to work out positive for you.

Glad you sold your house and moving forward. Good luck!

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8795372
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 7:44 PM on Tuesday, June 20th, 2023

Jeaniegirl - I know you've recently dealt with the 'C' world, too. So you know what it does to your brain when you first hear it. I appreciate your sympathy!

So over the weekend, when we were celebrating our grandson's birthday, we get a text from our realtor. Numbnuts wants to know if he can get outside access to our backyard yesterday or today, so he can have a slope analysis done to start planning for his plunge pool. I'm not kidding you all. H replied with one word - NO. I was afraid of this shit - now that he's the owner, what will he want access to until mid-July when we have to be out. I mean, he barely came up with money for the house - how's he going to pay for his plunge pool so quickly. Tells me he had the money, but was just being stingy with it.

So one of the PCPs I had reached out to had a last minute cancelation on Friday morning for a meet and greet. He seems like a great doctor, and has a good bedside manner. I didn't get a chance to see what his response to me would be if I told him I refuse to take Tamoxifen or any hormone-blocker. Not only that, but I may choose to stay on a really low dosage of estrogen even though my tumor is E+ receptor. Heart disease is rampant in my family at young ages, and I want that estrogen protection as long as I can get it. The GYN I have is OK with continuing to prescribe the estrogen. I have cut the dosage in half in the last couple of weeks, but I was already at a really low dosage.

Anyway, when I told him about the five-day radiation protocol that UCLA does, he told me to go to Dana Farber when we get out here, that if any place is using a progressive protocol, it would be Dana Farber. The cancer center that is basically down the road from where we live has a nurse navigator that I spoke to at the end of last week. She said their patients are still getting a 15-day protocol, but I could talk with the radiation oncologist about the five-day if that's what I want to proceed with. In my head I'm thinking, I don't want to be their guinea pig; I want to go where they're doing this protocol every day.

The call with the NP at my surgeon's office went well. I was happy to hear she does not place a guide wire in prior to surgery - she already mapped everything out with ultrasound. I also spoke to a friend today who was just diagnosed a few weeks ago, and had her surgery Thursday - she's already out in her orchard picking cherries with her good arm! But she told me she had nausea from the anesthesia - when I asked her what she said, she said propofol. I was thrilled!! I would prefer propofol. I've had it several times for colonoscopies and I come out of it very well. So I'm hoping that's what I will be able to get, but I realize it's the anesthetist's call.

We head home tomorrow - we got an apartment rental here, arranged for a storage unit and have everything as lined up as we can at this point. Three days and counting down until surgery.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8796145
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 12:30 AM on Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

you are handling all this like a champ! Sending good mojo for a positive outcome in a few days!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6198   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8796182
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 7:04 AM on Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

number4,

Sounds like you’re making good progress with the move. I will continue to pray for you.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8796226
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 12:55 PM on Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

Good luck with the surgery.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3674   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8796248
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:42 PM on Wednesday, June 21st, 2023

Wow!

So much has happened in so little time! So, two days and counting till your surgery. I’m so glad that you’re pleased with what they are telling you, and that you have made such fabulous progress with setting up doctors when you move. July will be here before you know it, and you will just have the one location and the one home to worry about.

Many thoughts and prayers with you this Friday!

❤️

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8232   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8796260
Topic is Sleeping.
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