SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Please seek the advice of an atty asap...Is your wife planning on moving permanently or on a vacation with the kids?

annb,

I have hired an attorney. What I referenced was just a trip back home to NC, but she is not taking that trip anymore thankfully. She is actually respecting my wishes that I don't our kids around this OW until at least the divorce is final.

spent about an hour just reading through all the various posts here on SI, and thought I would post an update of my own. WW and I are still in the home together, though she spends most of her time with the OW. She told me today that she plans on buying me out of the mortgage, which I am stunned any company would give her a loan with absolutely no credit and no full time job. I look at new homes daily and think I am going to buy one that I can fix up with my two boys.

Everyday still hurts, I have turned to weed to numb the pain which is not smart because I could lost my job for it. I think about the way things were and realize there probably would have been a divorce even without the affair. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have done everything I could to make it work. I have also leaned on my faith heavily and it is keeping me from sinking into thoughts of suicide. She is just living her best life while I am the one suffering and paying for her sins. How is that fair? The amount of child support and alimony she is asking for is ridiculous and she is getting my pension to boot. Help me make this make sense...... I am not a very outgoing person, so our friends group are her friends, so she controls the narrative on how this separation looks.

I want so bad to run back home to NC but my kids are here and I would never leave them.

Are you in therapy? Is there anyone at church that can help?

Put the weed away brother, you might not just lose your job you could lose custody too.

I'm so sorry, LMBF, just saw your initial post. It sounds like her behavior is very confrontation and defiant. Not just having an affair, which is bad enough - with anyone - but shoving it in yours and the kids' faces. Very selfish, very cruel, very thoughtless, very unkind. Beyond even deceitful, very much FU energy to me. Maybe it's partly that she has a ton of repressed anger and hostility from the past. It's one thing to explore another sexual what...persona? Identity? not sure how to call this, but it's a 180. I don't think this is just about exploring lesbianism or even an affair....this seems like very naked anger and hostility to me. Have not seen an update, hope you are weathering this as best you can. I would just let her go at this point and not even bother with recon or dissuading her or trying to win her back. She has to work through whatever this is before you could even think of that. I'd start moving on, if I were you, whatever that looks like for you. I think you're right to focus on your kids.

OhioBP, if you are even putting suicide in these posts you need to get real life help NOW.

Call the Ohio helpline. I just looked it up, just dial 988.

Don’t wait for it to get worse!