nrtd (original poster new member #86627) posted at 6:00 AM on Tuesday, October 21st, 2025
Listened to the audiobook and ordered a copy for WS not arrived.
Seems helpful. It's very frustrating to have to help WS "get it". She says she's scared to do the wrong thing. Next MC (with infidelity specialist is). I am torn between telling her what to do and telling her nothing. My job is to focus on healing which I am doing rigorously (grounding + journalling).
One thing I've come across (because I haven't made any sort of decision about the long term) is to write an "exit log" to capture every time I feel like leaving and a "partner accountability log" to capture when she does repair activities. This is to help me evaluate in the long-term what she has done and whether I feel it is sufficient.
However, I'm still within 90 days so I have no expectations for feeling better any time soon. The grounding / journalling is supposed to help so I'm just focusing on the routine.
One issue I really struggle with is "dead time" where my brain has nothing to focus on naturally. Then the rumination kicks in. I'm using podcasts, etc. to help with that and mediations / hypnosis stuff to help me sleep.
