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My stepfather is a monster. My mother is still with that pedophile and blamed me. She treated me like I was her competition instead of his victim. I left home at 16. I'm complete NC with anyone who made the choice to remain in the pedophiles life.
An aunt mentioned in passing he doesn't have much time left. I stopped her because I don't want the details. NC, you know.
I will celebrate if I hear of his passing. The world will be a better, safer place when that rabid animal exits it.
Just needed to let it out. Thank you for hearing me out.

StillLivin, girl you have been heard. There ought to be some kind of ritual. Somehow the words Time Heals don't always address the hidden truth. You know those online obituary tributes the funeral homes offer? Hehehe...never mind. :( Hugs.

I stopped her because I don't want the details. NC, you know.

Good for you holding tight to your boundaries!

What tremendous peace it brings.

Protect your peace, and hell yeah have a glass of wine. gonna be a special place in hell for him.

some people are not redeemable, and pedophiles are one. May he rot.

So sorry, StillLivin. I wish your mom would have stuck up for you.

Let us know, and we may join you in the glass of wine. I will, anyway.

I don't think about him anymore really. I'm turning 55, so it's been almost 40 years. But I swallowed a lot of shit sandwiches to try and stay close to my mother. Then, one day, it just clicked. FTB. It was shortly after my D. The few toxic people still in my life got evicted from my circle. I realized I had married my mother. Emotionally unavailable, treated me like shit (and that's even if she acknowledged my existence), told so many lies to cover for her shitty choices and to make me the bad guy. My truth was an inconvenience for her.
I won't go and piss or dance on his grave, but I will breathe easier.
I've learned that you can forgive somebody and still think they are a garbage human being. You can also acknowledge that the world is a better place when they leave it!
@Superesse, he's not even worth the money it would take to post an obituary. But I did snicker!
@EvenKeel, yes, it does bring peace in any type of toxic relationship!
@BearlyBreathing, my sentiments exactly!
@leafields, if I am informed of the day, I will update and we can all toast to being one less pedophile in the world!

But "tributes" (snicker) are free if your local newspaper prints obituaries! Just kidding, as I assume they screen what people submit. But it was a thought!

I get you...

My sister was married to an abusive man. They emigrated to another country (his insistence) in his effort to isolate her from family, and once there he both physically and sexually abused her. My mom thought something was wrong and eventually she and dad got on a plane and simply removed her from that situation. There was a tough divorce – fortunately no kids – and since the monster remained in that country our family could soon totally ignore his existence.
About 20 years later – at a family dinner – my sister (since remarried and extremely happy) mentioned that her former sister-in-law had sent her an e-mail letting her know her ex had passed away from cancer. This was the first she had heard from her or anything about him.
After dinner my dad took me, my brother and my sisters new (of 15 years...) husband into his office and gave us all a tumbler of some excellent single-malt Isle whiskey, along with a toast for "Good news and a better future".

I think this was the only person in the Universe my father absolutely hated.

I will celebrate with you as I am also a SA survivor. Your mother failed to protect you and that is a complete failure on her part. I would have been NC too.

Don't be surprised if your mother tries to weasel her way back into you life after the pedo is gone. My advice, for the sake of your wellbeing, is to stay NC. Letting your mother grieve and spend the rest of her life alone is the appropriate consequence for her actions.

That 2 posters to this thread have mothers who did not protect them from SA is sadly consistent with research we were shown in a grad psychology class on the causes and effects of childhood abuse/neglect. Our professor was our state's leading advocate for abused children with statewide social service programs.

A couple of points I recall from the summary of thousands of abused child cases:
1. Child sexual abuse is a way more common problem than commonly understood. Twenty-five years ago, statistics were 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys in the United States and the numbers are believed to have ramped up since then!
2. Rather than some nefarious stranger as many would assume, the most frequently identified male sexual abuser of girls is a stepfather.
3. The large majority of these victims' mothers side with the abuser against their daughter, even to the point of testifying in defense of the accused during childhood protective custody investigations!

One theory proposed for this: it was easier or safer for the mother to preserve her concept of her "husband" (and thus often her economic security as well) than choose to believe her child. Whereas, if she believed her child, she might have to face some ugly truths about her husband/breadwinner; human nature being what it is, denial can be a powerful force against seeing reality. Plus, children's stories are often doubted.

I'm sure you social workers have heard these mindblowing FACTS.

Food for thought, y'all...