SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi All,

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on this site, BS's and WS's alike, for providing a place to learn and grow through this painful experience. I have been reading the stories and forums on this site for a long time (even before I became a member), and I was able to internalize a lot of helpful advice and thoughts that this community has provided.

A quick summary: I was with my partner for 15 years, and I recently confessed an affair from over a decade ago. After the affair, I convinced myself that if I vow to be the best partner I can be for the rest of my life, I could "make up" for it and he would never need to know (a continuation of my wayward thinking). A few months ago, with the advice I read on SI, I confessed fully to my partner without TT to give him the agency I stole from him so long ago.

He confessed his own infidelities as well, and we amicably separated with intent to divorce. I enrolled myself in a trauma center to receive intensive therapy and psychological care, as well as work on myself to explore my "why's". I am also digging into my childhood - along with my confession, all of my repressed childhood memories resurfaced.

While I am not in reconciliation with my partner, we are both throwing everything into self-improvement and still feel love and mutual respect. I am working through the shame, but not a second goes by that I don't think about the pain I caused him.

This will probably be a lifelong journey, but I am living authentically and honestly for the first time. Thank you again for everyone on this website for sharing your stories and advice, I wish you all healing and hope.

-Heartbroken