Springtime 2008
Was driving a co-worker home yesterday and she asked me if I've ever been married. Well that took the whole ride to explain... 
I pretty much hibernate all winter so don't socialize much, and it's been awhile since I told the whole story to anyone. She kept saying holy shit I'm so sorry and I kept saying it's fine, I'm over it.
And folks, I really am!
But going through the retelling was interesting.
- How we'd just bought what was supposed to be our forever house.
- How we got into a $60K line of credit doing renos that went over budget.
- How he brought his squeeze-of-the-month to it to smudge it with sweetgrass and tobacco before getting a blowjob out back in the greenhouse.
- How it was right across the street from where I worked at the time.
- How they carried on the A at the campus radio station where I was taking classes at the time.
- How he gave me an STD and I got horribly sick from the antibiotics I had to take.
- How she messaged me telling me what a fool I was not to know he'd been at it for so long.
- How she showed up at a three-week artist residency in the mountains a few years later and I didn't kick her ass in public.
- How I had to eventually kick him out the spring after we moved in.
- How I put spyware on his laptop and saw every keystroke for two years after that.
- How I agonized for another year about whether to sell in a downturn or rent out to international students, but I was too fucked up mentally to be a landlady.
- How I had to live in a motel over Christmas after my mum passed away because the windows blew out of my new condo in a storm.
- How my older siblings all turned on me and got the knives out over the estate because we'd had a share in my mum's house when we lived together (something none of the others ever wanted to do).
- How I had a crazy dream about an earthquake pushing me out of the condo into thin air, and the next day found my perfect rental apartment on Craigslist.
- How my new place was on a street halfway between where my mum passed and a house with the same name as the house she had all her kids in in Ireland.
- How I believe someone is watching over me at all times.
She asked how old I was when it all imploded and I said 55. She said that was Saturn on a second transit through my life (it apparently happens every 27.5 years) and apparently it's a big housecleaning event where everything burns down and you start fresh.
So for those of you struggling with things right now, just know it won't always be awful. Would I still like to have that house that's worth double now? Sure, that would have been nice, but things don't always work out as you planned. The good thing is that springtime and lilacs don't trigger me anymore, it's one of my favourite seasons now.
Onward.
2 comments posted: Thursday, March 28th, 2024
Storm Chips etc.
Holy smokes we're in for a massive winter slam in CanadaLand (sorry southern neighbours, you're getting the overflow...) 
I just schlepped down to the corner stores to stock up and now have all the essential food groups. If the power goes out I'll be good.
How y'all doing with storm prep?
22 comments posted: Thursday, December 22nd, 2022
Chastity Cage Bitcoin Ransom Hack
OMG just google that if you dare.
GASP
3 comments posted: Thursday, January 14th, 2021
Fun series about history in food
I've been watching a Brit series called Supersizers Eat the <decade> on the YouTubes.
This couple go back in time and eat the diet of the era. Some of it is quite 
as in the Tudor Period for instance - you have been forewarned about 'nose-to-tail' eating...
My favourite so far is the 70s, because I came of age then and the food was really quite decadent. Fondue and Harvey Wallbangers, yeah!
[This message edited by FaithFool at 6:42 PM, October 23rd (Friday)]
2 comments posted: Friday, October 23rd, 2020
Triggering 12 years out
Piggybacking off another thread about PTSD, I had a panic attack last week that took me back to 2008/09, D-Day followed by moving into a just-renovated-for-us dream house that he brought the last OW to for sex and a sage smudge (she was Indigenous and didn't approve of mixed-race couples, my ex being Mexican...) before we moved in.
All was revealed about two weeks prior to our move-in date, and we were maxed out financially so we had no choice but to finish the move. It was the LAST place I wanted to be.
A year after we moved in, he moved out, and I spent another year there alone before selling it.
That fall/winter of 2009 was devastating. I was doing a ton of yoga classes at the studio across the street (a the college where I worked, trigger city hello...) and what got me through the worst of those awful months was a woman who sings kundalini mantras in Sanskrit. I had three of her CDs and had them on repeat pretty much the whole time.
Fast forward to now and I always make a point to avoid playing that music from my computer now. HOWEVER, last week I put my ITunes on random and she popped up.
Right from the first notes of that song, I went into a deep panic attack, feet first down the rabbit hole. In my mind's eye I was back in that empty house, rattling around all winter, coming home after work to the porch light and not much else.
I struggled to breathe for about 10 minutes before reaching for a 12-year-old prescription of Ativan that was mostly scraps and dust. In case you're wondering, it still worked, or maybe it was just the placebo effect, but it calmed me right the fuck down in short order.
I resisted the urge to go out and get a bottle of wine because that's the other thing that got me through that awful time, by the box.
I did some cannabis oil before bed and was able to get off into a good deep sleep. The next day I was completely drained.
I've conquered a fuck-ton of triggers over the years (and this shit is all bundled in with my mom passing away the following winter) but it's obvious that I have to avoid the pan flutes and meditation music for life lol.
Onward.
[This message edited by FaithFool at 2:33 PM, October 19th (Monday)]
20 comments posted: Thursday, October 8th, 2020
House Staging Nightmare Fails Part 1
One of my favourite pastimes is cruising the real estate listings for those really egregiously awful photos. This is my favourite today.
You'll never feel alone here...
The bathtub gives this room a nice pop of colour, don't you think? 
[This message edited by FaithFool at 8:18 PM, September 4th (Friday)]
13 comments posted: Friday, September 4th, 2020
Stacked Threads in Off Topic
What's your go-to at Costco?
Chiggers not scabies
1 comment posted: Sunday, August 30th, 2020
Fucknut sightings
I live in a small city and Fucknut x has been living in my neighbourhood since the D. We've been full-metal NC for a few years now, nothing but the occasional text fishing for a response. I'm an expert at the crickets and he gets zero supply from me.
Since the Covid imploded his work scene (music biz) he's been home full time, and now I find he's taken to doing his evening strolls in the public gardens two blocks from my house.
It happens to be the park where I tend to like to rest after a strenuous hill climb on my bike. I saw him coming last week and got out of there, but yesterday I was riding out toward the gates and there he was, strolling hand in hand with his latest vict.... er, squeeze.
I know he saw me coming, but I pretended to be engrossed in looking the other way as I passed them (HEY IS THAT A... "SQUIRREL"??).
I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole knowing what I know, and just coming within such close proximity made my skin crawl. Especially seeing the lovey-dovey couple act.
Anyone who thinks you 'just get over it' needs to get this. It's been 12 YEARS and this shit still triggers me FFS. Doesn't help that July was when we had to move into the house we closed on a few weeks before DDay.
That fucker walked me into that transaction without a flicker of guilt, with me none the wiser, and I'll never forgive him for that.
The icky feeling lingered well into my evening, which really pissed me off, but there is progress -- I didn't go into panic attack mode, those stopped a couple of years ago.
Given the current situation with the entertainment industry I expect he won't be travelling for at least another year, so this will probably become a regular occurrence. 
Fortunately I have many more beautiful spots to hang out on my two-wheeler adventures, but that garden was one of my healing places when I moved here seven years ago and it pains me to have to tiptoe around it now.
I'm planning on relocating to the other coast next year, so it'll be a huge bonus to never have to run into that asshole ever again.
In other news, I've been having long phone chats with a much younger and hotter songwriter friend from Nova Scotia, and he's told me that I'm the coolest person he knows. We hung out in Montreal last fall and have become quite close. Last week he actually told me he misses me. 
Never say never.
Thanks for listening.
Onward.
9 comments posted: Thursday, July 9th, 2020
Selling Sunset
Anyone watching this on Netflix? It's so bad but I can't stop watching. Like a trainwreck with Manolos...
2 comments posted: Sunday, April 7th, 2019
More fun with spam
Been toying with a new spammer who keeps coming back for more. My latest response, with lots of coloured and varied sizes of text which you can't see here... 
Dear Lazarus !!!
Unfortunately as the CRA has now TAKEAN ME INTO CUSTADY I am unable to contact anyone to arrange my release.
🚀🚲✈⛔🚭⚠⚡
their is no way out except to GIVE THEM EVERYTHING I OWN... 😭😭😭😭😭
Please immiediatly !!! TRANSFER FUNDS to Account #5694394104 at Branch 010 of Central BONGO BONGO bank of NIGERIA to secure my release or they will find out about our conversatoins and that will be DISASTRUS!!! 🚭⚠⚡
Alexis Bukowski
Director of Operations
Canada Bolt Co.
Providing quality wing nuts to Canadians since 1902
[This message edited by FaithFool at 9:41 PM, December 13th (Thursday)]
4 comments posted: Thursday, December 13th, 2018
Can I get a 21,000+ ?
Just noticed my post numbers. Holy crap I've been here a long time...
7 comments posted: Friday, November 9th, 2018
Peak stupid, we have arrived...
If you want a real giggle, google 'falling stars'. It's a thing in Asia apparently.
Can't wait to see the parodies...
[This message edited by FaithFool at 3:20 PM, October 24th (Wednesday)]
1 comment posted: Wednesday, October 24th, 2018
Fun with Spam
I have an email account for dating sites and spammers.
This week I got the Fabulous Offer of a Lifetime, and, inspired by a certain British standup comic, I decided to reply to see how long he would try to keep the ball in the air. Here's where we're at today.
If he sends me more I'm going to tell him I'm being arrested by the taxman and he may not hear from me for awhile, but I might need him to send bail $$$.
****************
From: Spam Man
Sent: Sunday, September 30, 2018 8:06 AM
Subject: Ref: Investment Fund
For your kind Attention
I am looking to work with a reputable individual/firm to engage in a profit oriented ventures in your country and perhaps with your assistance, we could get low tax rates.
I have the directive of Mr. Mikhail Khodorkovsky to source for partner abroad who can accommodate and manage 150M & 350M USD respectively. The sums are derived from an executed project with Yukos Oil Company before the company was change merged into Rosneft Oil Corporation in Russia.
We shall apply for the necessary paper work required to re-profile your name as the recipient and also ensure payment is carried out by Rosneft into a bank account in your name. I guaranty we would execute this business under a legitimate arrangement without breach of the law.
Further details will follow upon your positive reply.
Regards,
Spam Man
From: FF
Sent: October 7, 2018 11:13 AM
To: SPAMMER
Subject: Re: Re: Investment Opportunity
Dear Alex,
Thank you for your timely email. Hallelujah! How on earth did you find me? What a coincidence we have same name. That is surely a sign of the divine and I believe in lucky signs such as these.
<cute silly emojis>
Yours truly
FF
Director of Operations
Canada Bolt Co.
Providing quality wing nuts to Canadians since 1902
From: Spam Man
Sent: October 9, 2018 10:46:38 PM
To: FF
Subject: Re: Investment Opportunity
Dear Sir,
I trust that you can be the beneficiary of this unpaid contract payment with ROSNEFT OIL CORPORATION valued for US$50Million and US$150Million.
The transaction is transparent and straight forward, we would provide additional information’s to you step by step as we proceed on the transaction. Any question(s) you submit would be answered to give you a better insight and I will be here to guide you as we proceed to actualize success on the transaction.
The transaction has already been secured by Mr. Khodorkovsky, the only hidden fact is that you did not execute the said contract and this will be kept secret between us forever as long as you did not tell anyone about it.
We have our laid down strategy to actualize the transfer of the funds to your name and your cooperation would be required moving forward. The total fund US$200Million would be kept with you for investment into any profitable business project with 5% to 10% ROI annually for ten (10) years period which is subject to renewal.
Firstly, we intend to change the entire contract documents on Yukos contract #: YUKOS/GFR788/MIN/RU/2005 value for US$50Million and US$150 Million to your name as beneficiary. Note that the fund will not have any problem since it is legitimate and does not have any criminal, terrorism or ML connection.
Secondly, the procedure to get fund transfer completed will require you to open a new offshore account with the bankers to ROSNEFT OIL CORPORATION from where the said USD200Million will be paid to you as contract payment because Mr. Mikhail B. Khodorkovsky is presenting you as sub-contractors for the already executed contract and with the necessary paper work secured, you will be paid the said USD200 Million by Rosneft.
We offer you 20% as your share and compensation, this is accessible after the contract payment to your name as beneficiary is completed by Rosneft Oil Corporation.
You must ensure the confidentiality of this transaction at all times and also sign an NCND/MOU agreement. By signing the classified NCND/ MOU agreement, you will now have a legal authority as the appointed investment manager.
We have worked out every necessary detail and we have the cooperation of our contacts inside Rosneft to actualize the payment once the documents including the new offshore account coordinate are submitted for approval.
I wait your reply.
Regards,
Spam Man
From: FF
Sent: October 11, 2018 2:01 PM
To: Spam Man
Subject: Re: Investment Opportunity
Dearest Spam Man,
I'm not a "sir" just so you know. <insert cute flirty emojis including eggplant>
The idea of actualizing success is pretty freaking awesome.
But this sentence is wayyyy too long (what we ESL people call a "run-on sentence"). <more emojis>
Can you break it down into English for me?
Secondly, the procedure to get fund transfer completed will require you to open a new offshore account with the bankers to ROSNEFT OIL CORPORATION from where the said USD200Million will be paid to you as contract payment because Mr. Mikhail B. Khodorkovsky is presenting you as sub-contractors for the already executed contract and with the necessary paper work secured, you will be paid the said USD200 Million by Rosneft.
Also I'm a very visual person so please send a diagram/flow chart of exactly how this works (in the body of the text please, no attachments or my program will delete automatically!!!!).
Yours truly,
FF
Director of Operations
Canada Nut Co.
[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:48 PM, October 12th (Friday)]
11 comments posted: Friday, October 12th, 2018
Expedition Happiness
This documentary on Netflix is the best. Two young'uns and their dog go off on an incredible adventure. She wrote and recorded an album for the soundtrack while they were on the road.
I bought the album, the music is mesmerizing and fantastic. Anyone looking for a feel-good hit should see this. And get the recording. It's all amazing.
That is all.
0 comment posted: Monday, February 26th, 2018
Can't believe nobody has opened a Christmas Bar yet.
Who's in? I'm going to want an adult beverage when I return from my snowy walk in the park.
Vodka soda with a splash of cassis with fresh lime and cranberries. 
3 comments posted: Monday, December 25th, 2017
YouTube funnies
OMG I've stumbled upon the best British series... "Young, Dumb, and Living Off Mum" is a bit horrifying but so craptastic you just can't stop watching.
Just saw an episode where the 19 year old girl is so lazy her mum flushes the toilet after her because darling daughter can't be bothered...
The best part was they assign them to jobs and hers was to clean toilets in a hostel.
THE HORROR!
My other favourite at the moment is "World's Strictest Parents". They take a couple of Horrible Teens and send them off to other countries to live by other people's rules.
I can laugh because I don't have kids lol.
5 comments posted: Sunday, July 9th, 2017
Goddam I make good food...
New potatoes were in at the farmer's market this morning. I wait for these babies all winter.
Made potato salad. Had some leftover cold ribeye steak.
Threw that over a layer of potato salad with avocado and greens on top, with my favourite caesar dressing.
It was an amazing lunch if I say so myself.
Time for a bike ride.
3 comments posted: Saturday, July 1st, 2017
When your I R L interwebs crush...
...getz all 'in a relationship' <hearts hearts> it's time to replace the screensaver.
Onward.
[This message edited by FaithFool at 12:06 AM, February 2nd (Thursday)]
0 comment posted: Wednesday, February 1st, 2017
Can I get a 20,000 high five?
21 comments posted: Wednesday, January 18th, 2017
Corn is my spirit vegetable
Anyone else live for corn season?
5 comments posted: Wednesday, September 14th, 2016
Best job posting ever
"Salary commiserate with experience."
Um, ok. Whatever.
1 comment posted: Friday, April 29th, 2016
Attention Sazzy!
Your fan club awaits a response on this thread.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=583754
1 comment posted: Wednesday, April 27th, 2016
Best Stacked Threads Ever...
What kind of things do you do alone?
Steam my vajayjay whilst bees sting my face.
4 comments posted: Monday, April 11th, 2016
A Girl is Finally Going to Win It!
Master Chef Jr. FINALLY, two feisty girlkids in the final.
One of them wears a pink baseball cap backwards. Wants to open a bakery called "Batter Up".
3 comments posted: Saturday, January 23rd, 2016
Hey now, can I get a 19K medal or something?
9 comments posted: Sunday, January 3rd, 2016
Goodbye trainwreck, hello new smile (pics)
Soooo excited to finally get some funky old bridgework replaced this week.
Childhood pic of bad tooth (grew in damaged after an accident) and crowded crooked smile, small mouth, too many teeth, quite a few had to be removed, we didn't have the $$$ for braces, so lots of dental fun over the years.
The year I got smacked in the mouth by the swing:
What grew in:
New smile:
My dentist is a rock star...
[This message edited by FaithFool at 11:14 PM, November 4th (Wednesday)]
10 comments posted: Wednesday, November 4th, 2015
Dick pics TJ and ads...
Am I the only one noticing the popup ads for "Same Day Junk Pickups" from JUSTJUNK since that thread got going in General?
[This message edited by FaithFool at 3:08 PM, November 1st (Sunday)]
9 comments posted: Sunday, November 1st, 2015
Stacked Threads in O T
Unmoored in Menopause...
Heatwave...
How to Get Through This...
This is Crazy...
3 comments posted: Friday, July 3rd, 2015
How to not sell your house.
Demon not included.
5 comments posted: Sunday, March 29th, 2015
Christmas starts now right?
So the twelve days to Christmas is kind of under way, which for me means Henkell Trocken and cassis (aka Kier Royales) are on the daily menu, which is ok, right?
I love that stuff so much I should probably start buying shares in the company...
Bring it Santa!
[This message edited by FaithFool at 6:40 PM, December 14th (Sunday)]
10 comments posted: Sunday, December 14th, 2014
Photobucket is down
Quick, check out the link before they change it.
http://photobucket.com/
2 comments posted: Monday, October 27th, 2014
