Hey I am back
Hey, I am suffering some serious burnout. There have been a few DM's. My apologies for not responding.
We are sleeping in separate rooms just biding time. I dont feel safe with her and get disregulated quite easily. We have the classic avoidant/anxious dynamic going on.
My wifes affair while traumatizing on its own also hit a significant childhood wound. I was raised by a single mother and woke in the middle of the night in my childhood home when I was around 10. My mother was having sex with her boyfriend and the abandonment and aloness I felt in the moment was intense. All I wanted was to be comforted by my mother. There was a little bit of that but she went back to having sex. It was horrible. My wifes affair hit that wound almost perfectly.
The idea of being poor and alone seems worse. I know that makes no sense to a lot of you but I haven't known a healthy relationship.
The hard truth is I am depressed and suffering from fatigue. It's not good.
I dont know what healing looks like even if I get there. What should I expect from her. Its been a long time.
6 comments posted: Wednesday, July 22nd, 2026
