Husband has terminal illness
I have drifted in and out of this forum for years. The affair happened in 2016 (I am BW) and this website was the only thing that saved me.
Here is my most recent concern. My husband (WH) and I reconciled in 2016 and for the most part, it was the right decision to do so. We have tried to put things back together. The topic comes up from time to time and I guess it always will. Clearly, I haven't forgotten one detail of what happened.
But now he has stage 4 cancer, with lots of ups and downs. For some reason, the more ill that he becomes, I find that I'm focusing on the affair. I'm ashamed to say that I have even thought to myself, "I wish it could have been the OW here with him now instead of me!" I do love him and when he is gone, I will be terribly lonely and sad, but for now, I find that I'm more angry than ever. Not all the time, but it surfaces.
Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing?
7 comments posted: Saturday, October 11th, 2025
