Blindsided & Devastated

I just found out my husband of almost 20 years is having an emotional affair with a coworker. The suspicion started a couple of months ago with him hiding his phone when I would walk in the room. He took his phone everywhere even the bathroom. When I did see him texting he would have this smile on his face that stopped me in my tracks. Last week he asked me to iron a shirt for him even though I had already ironed his work clothes for the week. He is not very particular about his clothes and usually just wears what is on the hanger. So this request was a red flag. I was able to look at his texts and he has been texting a woman he works with. I don’t even know her real name because he has a pet name in his contacts. He wanted to wear that shirt so they could match outfits for the company holiday lunch and he referred to it as a date. He told her he loved her. I am completely devastated and shattered. I confronted him and he is denying anything is going on and that she is just a friend. I told him she is not just a friend if you are telling her you love her! I asked him why and he said he doesn’t know. He says nothing happened. He says he is sorry he hurt me but sounded more like he is sorry I found out. I have been in a fog since Saturday. I can’t eat or sleep and all I want to do is cry. He won’t talk about it and claims he won’t talk to her anymore but I don’t believe him. I hate him for doing this to our family. What am I going to do?

11 comments posted: Tuesday, December 19th, 2023