Overthinking why husband doesn’t love me anymore

So yes, I’m overthinking. It’s hard not to do when your husband of 27 years leaves you for another woman after having a two year affair with her. I told him to not come home and we will be divorcing- I got my lawyer. I busted him in early June after I was suspicious. It’s like he was living two separate lives however after the affair was out in the open he showed no remorse. We had a great marriage for many years and two beautiful young adult kids (which were shocked by all this as well). He’s done with me and it hurts. The other woman is 12 years younger, divorced and has a young child- he met her at the gym. Obviously she made him feel special and stroked his ego. With me comes responsibility. And not to brag but I am a 52 year old fit, attractive woman. However the thing I’m overthinking is one of the reasons he mentioned he wasn’t happy in our marriage- because of my illness. I have an autoimmune disease that flares at times which causes extreme fatigue and when that happens I need more help around the house and it effected my ability to go on vacations at times. I mean our vows said in sickness and in health. How selfish of him. It’s not like I was holding him back from things at all. I keep thinking how horrible it is of him to make my occasional poor health a reason (one of the reasons) for leaving me, like I wasn’t good enough for him. I don’t want to have an illness- it doesn’t feel good, it sucks- and then he makes me feel worse about it because he’s selfish! But this overthinking is making me feel worse about being sick and about being able to "keep up". I hate that I’m letting him make me feel this way, but it’s hard not to overthink when I’ve lost my husband to another woman, a younger woman. I’m still trying to process this entire situation because it’s like the rug was pulled out from under me. This was unexpected. We were just reaching the point when the kids are out of the house and we could enjoy more time together. Now my life has been flipped upside down! It’s scary and lonely and I have many worries for my future now. It really feels horrible when you learn your husband is not attracted to you and doesn’t love you anymore. That’s what I’m struggling with…

4 comments posted: Tuesday, August 26th, 2025

Sad he doesn’t love me anymore

I found out my husband of 27 yrs has been having an affair and we are getting divorced. He has no remorse and wants out. It’s crushing for me. I’m having such a hard time accepting that he wants the OW and doesn’t care about or love me anymore. We were college sweethearts, best friends, had a beautiful life. This two year affair was kept secret from me, he was living two lives and when I found out it was like getting the rug tipped out from under my feet. The lies he told and how he betrayed me can never be forgotten, but I am so sad for the loss of the man I knew when he was faithful and we’re were happy.

13 comments posted: Monday, August 11th, 2025

Rumination

How do I stop ruminating about my husband and his AP? We are separated and getting a divorce but I’m devastated about his affair after 27 years of marriage. I don’t want them to be happy together, it hurts so much.

11 comments posted: Saturday, August 9th, 2025