Topic is Sleeping.
Gottagetthrough (original poster member #27325) posted at 9:41 PM on Sunday, July 26th, 2020
I’ve been living away from stbx for 2 months.
Each day I realize more and more that I will not be lonely without Wh. I do not miss him. I do not miss the chaos of our relationship. Life feels calmer .
I want to go back to school to get a PhD. I want to go abroad to do 3 separate things pertaining to my degree. I don’t know how that will work with kids but I want to find out.
Wh was always supportive of the last OW (an EA). He was not of me.
I can do things. I’m smart! (Not dumb like everyone says! 
Sorry Godfather 2 joke)
But seriously. The whole world looks brighter. And calmer.
[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 3:42 PM, July 26th (Sunday)]
ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 9:59 PM on Sunday, July 26th, 2020
So very happy you're finding yourself! You've always been smart, capable and badass, only now you can see it yourself!
You got this! Let him eat your dust, honey!
Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:11 PM on Monday, July 27th, 2020
I am so freaking proud of you!!!!
It's amazing how much nicer life can be when you cut the cancer of abuse out.
(((and Happiness)))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 3:53 PM on Monday, July 27th, 2020
So happy for you!! You've got this.
"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."
D-day April 2010
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:20 PM on Monday, July 27th, 2020
But seriously. The whole world looks brighter. And calmer.
Isn't it weird how you truly don't realize how much their drama and bullshit weighs you down until you get some distance from it? And when that realization DOES come, you honestly don't know how the hell you ever stood it for as long as you did?
Happy for you GGT - you deserve some peace!!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 4:09 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020
I don't know how I missed this thread.
I'm so happy to hear you planning things for yourself and your new life! You're finally going places and taking charge!!
Failure is success if we learn from it.
J707 ( member #63778) posted at 5:22 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020
It really is amazing just how much calmer things are. The everyday stress and drama goes away. The source of the drama is a cancerous turd that won't flush down but that's their problem, not yours. Life can be and IS peaceful, calm and drama free the further away we all get. Keep shinning!!
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 7:17 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020
I want to go back to school to get a PhD. I want to go abroad to do 3 separate things pertaining to my degree. I don’t know how that will work with kids but I want to find out.
You will find many folks on here that pursued additional school in their NB.
I was working FT and taking a FT expedited degree program while going through the D, keeping the marital house and having the kiddos FT. Granted I didn't watch TV or bath (lol) for two years but I made it...on the Dean's list the entire time.
It is hard - yes. It is doable - YES.
Best advice I can give you is do what works for you. Maybe you have to modify some classes, maybe you have do it at a slower pace, etc. It doesn't matter as long are you working towards whatever it is you want to accomplish. If you have to take a break - then break. Heck I was afraid I was going to be the old person in class but ended up being on the younger end of the spectrum. My school buddy turned out to be 70.
I know it is hard to believe but you will blink and your kids will be old enough to be self-sufficient and you will be able to tackle more.
There are lots of folks on here that decided to embark on additional education; lots of support if you need it.
The whole world looks brighter. And calmer.
As scary as leaving a R is sometimes, the peace that comes from being out of the toxic'ness is priceless!
[This message edited by EvenKeel at 1:20 PM, August 7th (Friday)]
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:37 PM on Friday, August 7th, 2020
You are amazing! Good luck in your new beginning.
thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 4:00 AM on Saturday, August 8th, 2020
A whole wide world awaits you. Go explore.
ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis
As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...
thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 3:31 AM on Sunday, August 9th, 2020
So glad to hear this from you, GGT. You are amazing and will be great on your own! I can truly understand what you are saying about life away from your WH - check out my tag line!
Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 4:12 AM on Sunday, August 9th, 2020
Amazing what the mere lack of abuse can do for our outlooks and possibilities...
Great update! You are truly the captain of your own ship. Do whatever brings you happiness!
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Topic is Sleeping.
