Topic is Sleeping.
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 10:02 PM on Sunday, December 18th, 2022
I don’t even know what to say
Today has been particularly difficult
Hoping saying it here gets it off my chest
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:24 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Hang in there, JW. It gets better, but the journey to get there totally sucks.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
hurtbs ( member #10866) posted at 2:09 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
One day at a time JW. It will get better, it just takes time and work.
Me - 40 something. WXH DDay 2006, Divorced 2012
WBF DDay #1 9/2022 #2 11/2022
Single
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:28 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Hey Jammy. You’ve been heard. I hope you get a good night sleep and that tomorrow is better.
Hang in there.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 5:50 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Thanks
Haven’t slept great
These messages helped
It is just so painful isn’t it you have to feel the pain
And then crawl out of it
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 7:43 AM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
It is so hard to get an emotional grip
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 1:16 PM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Some days it’s all you can do to just brush your teeth. Or take a shower. Or eat something.
We get it.
How can we help you?
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 8:40 PM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Feeling calmer now
It was like a wave of grief I think
About the life I thought was ahead of me
This evening I feel a glimmer of hope that there’s a better future for me
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 9:25 PM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
JW
Sometimes I think it’s harder around the holiday season. All the movies and happy families and all that stuff - yet we are BS and struggling to survive each day.
We all survive this. Some better than others. But from dark hole many of us have climbed out of and thrived.
Have faith in yourself.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 11:11 PM on Monday, December 19th, 2022
Yes - and our divorce process is just commencing
I have been stuck in a pit of sorrow accepting its over
My marriage is over
There
I said it
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 12:18 AM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022
There;s no platitudes or sayings that really make this easier.
But acceptance
Yes, your marriage is ending. AND your next chapter is being.
Reframing can help your brain see both sides .
It just sucks. And the comes around in waves.
Hang in there.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 2:57 AM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022
Yes barely that helps
A lot
One day the pain inside will feel like a distant memory
What’s hurting right now is that he did this
I thought he was such a decent man
So it is a feeling of disappointment in the person I thought was the best person in the world
And a feeling of hurt that this person hurt me more than any one has ever hurt me
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 11:52 AM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022
It’s like I am getting skewered by the pain and stuck in it
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:47 PM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
de.va.sta.ted ( member #22922) posted at 9:37 PM on Tuesday, December 20th, 2022
This, too, shall pass.
It's rough to accept, but better and sunnier days are ahead. Believe it, even if you don't feel it.
Me: BW Him: WH D-Day 1: February 2009 D-Day 2: April 2018 Divorced!
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:47 AM on Wednesday, December 21st, 2022
JW
It is awful when you are hurt by the person you love the most. And by the person you trusted the most.
It’s too painful when the person morphs into someone else. It was always the person they are now but just hid it behind a facade.
Infidelity is the most painful thing a person experiences IMO. It’s anger, betrayal, grief and devastation +++ all rolled up together.
Consider counseling for yourself. It saved my sanity during my H’s affair and plans to D me.
So sorry for you.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 12:02 PM on Wednesday, December 21st, 2022
Thanks
Life is going to be different to what I imagined
I will try to internalise what you all say - that the future will be better
FuturewasStolen ( member #74119) posted at 3:37 PM on Wednesday, December 21st, 2022
It may not seem like it now, but you will get through this. One minute at a time sometimes. Very, very slowly you will get better at getting through these waves. And then the waves will come more spread apart. Each time, you will get stronger. Lean on the people around you and on this site and take as much time as you need. Go easy on yourself.
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 7:29 PM on Wednesday, December 21st, 2022
Everyone on here is so kind
I have to communicate with him around the kids, one has additional needs
It’s hard
He denies it was an affair, still (began after I left) but the truth is obvious
It’s nice to talk on here and feel a bit healed/that there is a better future
I mean it’s good that the pain is acknowledged but at the same time the need to keep in mind life will improve is good
[This message edited by JammyWheel at 7:33 PM, Wednesday, December 21st]
JammyWheel (original poster member #80828) posted at 8:09 AM on Thursday, December 22nd, 2022
How do you accept this?
He had done something terrible to me and friends have stayed friends with him; turned a blind eye.
He has been the one invited to their parties, weekends away, sometimes with Her and sometimes with our kids
He’s denied an affair
Said he left then they got together and friends have accepted that (though I hope some will put two and two together, I was pregnant when he left and carer to our other child - no way would I have asked him to leave!)
Topic is Sleeping.
