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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

Off Topic :
Melanoma

Topic is Sleeping.
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 FairyTaleGone (original poster member #79059) posted at 6:19 PM on Wednesday, May 10th, 2023

Has anyone here had experiences with Melanoma? WH was just diagnosed yesterday. We know it’s at least stage 2, but could be a higher stage as the melanoma spanned the depth of the biopsy.

We are heartbroken and so freaking scared right now. He says that he feels this is his "punishment" for the things he did, which breaks my heart more. He doesn’t deserve this. No one does.

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NCWorking on R15yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8790334
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:51 PM on Wednesday, May 10th, 2023

So this is a scary diagnosis, but w/ new immunotherapy there are a lot better prognosis, as well.
He needs to see at least 2 oncologists to get a review/plan of tx developed. If you can go to a major health system, that is with a teaching hospital.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20293   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8790338
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 FairyTaleGone (original poster member #79059) posted at 6:57 PM on Wednesday, May 10th, 2023

Thank you! How do we do that…get a second opinion? This is the first medical issue either of us has ever had, so I feel very inexperienced with this kind of stuff.

On a positive note though, we are so lucky to live in a place with some amazing healthcare systems. The one that is handling his care is one of the top 10 in the country.

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NCWorking on R15yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8790339
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:59 PM on Wednesday, May 10th, 2023

Well it sounds like you are in the right place. Wait for that f/u, your dr should be sending a referral, and should give you a number to call to schedule.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20293   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8790340
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 3:13 PM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

My MIL, had it and lived 37 years after the DX. Sending good thoughts, prayers and mojo!

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8791065
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 5:24 PM on Tuesday, May 16th, 2023

This is the first medical issue either of us has ever had, so I feel very inexperienced with this kind of stuff.

I would highly recommend your keeping a journal of everything, particularly all of your doctor's appointments, phone calls, etc. ie., when you had what test or treatment done, and where; what medications were given and any reactions to them - find out how you can access those results (which platform are they kept on). Ask them which platform they use to share test results with. It will become overwhelming, even if it ends up being just safe 2, and treatment is successful; and as time passes, these are things you'll want to have at a hand's reach - even five or ten years down the road if there is any recurrence or another kind of cancer that arises (not saying it will, but if it does, you'll have the info). You can also write down whatever questions come up in this journal, so you'll have the list in front of you when at a doctor's appt., or a phone call.

Even the most easily treated cancers can throw someone in a tizzy. It's such a shock, and it messes with your brain. Keeping a journal helps to keep everything organized.

Good luck!

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8791081
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 2:14 AM on Wednesday, May 17th, 2023

The journal is a great idea, I also kept a binder for all my daughter’s visits. I asked one to record his discussion due to me being upset and I w wanted to be clear about was being said.

BS Fwh

posts: 3267   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8791161
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 FairyTaleGone (original poster member #79059) posted at 5:52 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

@PricklePatch, omg 37 years is so reassuring. I’m hoping his is still early and that we caught it in time!

@number4, the journal is such a great idea! I’m going to do that. Luckily, his medical team has an online platform where everything is housed, future appts, past appts, test results, etc. but it will still be nice to have a hard copy I can keep myself.

This week has been a whirlwind. He finally got into the surgical oncologist on Tuesday and had surgery on Thursday. They did a wide local excision, and sentinel lymph node biopsy. We should have the biopsy results within the week to see if it has spread.

Seeing him so down and in so much pain is just heartbreaking. I’m praying so hard that it hasn’t spread to his lymph nodes and that he will be ok.

Thank you all so much for your suggestions, I appreciate them more than you can imagine!

DDay 1 - 2/19/21 (found out about EA)DDay 2 - 5/22/21 (TT found burner phone)DDay 3 - 6/9/21 (TT found out about PA)

EA/PA ended 3/22/21 -WH went NCWorking on R15yr old DD at home - unfortunately knows way too much

posts: 117   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2021
id 8793725
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 8:01 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8232   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8793731
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 11:58 PM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023

@number4, the journal is such a great idea! I’m going to do that. Luckily, his medical team has an online platform where everything is housed, future appts, past appts, test results, etc. but it will still be nice to have a hard copy I can keep myself.

Well, who woulda' thunk that I'd find myself in a very similar situation after posting this over two weeks ago. I got a breast cancer diagnosis on Friday. It has been caught very early on, is slow growing, and very small. We will be moving across the country in about five weeks, so I need to start my own journal of conversations I've had, tests I've had run, etc. When the final pathology comes back, I will need to know the genotype so I can pass this along to my new health care team.

Like you, I am moving from one outstanding health care city to another. This is one of the reasons I could never live out in the middle of nowhere.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1368   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8793892
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 12:34 AM on Monday, June 5th, 2023

Sorry for the diagnosis but glad it is caught early. Your organization skills will be super helpful in navigating your care. Hope the move goes smoothly!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6198   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8793897
Topic is Sleeping.
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