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This week has really thrown me. Having AP thrown in my face, then taken away and now my WH can’t go to goodbye drinks because she will be there.

I am spiralling really bad, crying at the drop of a hat again, asking him questions all over again and just in a state of pure despise.

I said to him tonight I will never understand how you could pick someone like her over me and the kids. He told me it was some new and something exciting and that we were so different. And let me tell you im fucking glad, I would hate to be a selfish, pompous bitch who only cared about getting laid by someone with a ‘Dad bod’.

The funny thing is though at her age I had her exact same job but had a hell of a lot more responsibility and was married. He got with her at work the same the same way he got with me. It makes me feel sick with some of the commonalities 🤮

So on a Friday night, instead of going out in our new car (which we have had a week but I haven’t even had a ride in yet) and having a nice family dinner out, I’m sitting on my couch crying and drinking wine while him and my eldest boy go and buy dinner for themselves because I can’t even stomach the thought of food.

I honestly thought this type of meltdown was behind me. Apparently not.

[This message edited by Webbit at 9:45 AM, Friday, January 17th]

It’s been 3 months since dday for me. I know it’s considered early still, but last night I’m in the middle of a workout and I just start crying for no reason at all.

It’s overwhelming at times. I think it’s because I just don’t understand how someone could be so shortsighted, selfish, and insecure that they couldn’t have spared me the pain before they chose to betray our marriage.

And I also think that I’m angry at myself for not seeing they were capable of doing this. Because I don’t think I would’ve married them if I knew ahead of time.

You had a great big emotional lead up to encountering the AP, and then a great big let-down when it didn't happen, and none of it would have happened if your H hadn't taken a monster shit right where you both eat. It's completely normal for you to be having a great big release of emotions. Giant hugs.

I had a monster meltdown at a Cross Canadian Ragweed concert about a year after DDay. I don't even remember why, except that it was related to anger about his A, but I basically ruined it for myself. And then the band broke up. Things like that are going to happen, and it's okay. We're not machines. Love on yourself and consider a nice, comforting distraction.