SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We have never really done big gifts or events on Valentine's Day but considering this is the first after me finding out about the EA he had, I'm wondering how to address things. I'm feeling super triggered this week. I am not sure if it's because he literally got me nothing for Christmas (Dday was the day before Thanksgiving). We had a horrible holiday season. We had decided no gifts prior to finding out about the affair but I still got him something from the kids. I was hurt there wasn't even a card-literally nothing. We've been in IC and MC and he's making a solid effort but I don't know if I should ignore it or bring it up that I'm triggered right now. Honestly, I'm not even wanting a big gift, I just want a significant gesture. But should I have to tell him that? Idk, maybe I'm just feeling triggered and hurt in a different way. Not sure what to do. My plan is to just focus on my mental health. I want to do a work out, I made valentines for the kids and thought maybe I'd do a fun dinner with them Friday. Thoughts from people that have been through this? I don't want to negate the fact that I feel like he's making an effort to recover but I'm really triggered and don't know if I should bring it up or just ignore it all this year.

I would definitely do something just for you.

And have very low expectations do you don’t add more pain to your life.

I remember the first Valentine’s Day after dday2. Hit dressed up and went up dinner — very romantic. My H made a huge effort and I appreciated it.

My reco is to ask him for what you want. He can't read your mind, and you can't read his, but if you ask, you'll get some crucial information - if he doesn't deliver, R is going to be more difficult than if he does deliver, and if he keeps not satisfying your requests, you may decide to dump him.

For R to work, you've got to think of yourself as the prize. He really needs to show you that he wants you.