Brokensoul89 (original poster new member #86218) posted at 1:27 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2025
I understand that each person is different and each A if different with different "levels" of infidelity. I also understand there is no correct or right answer to this question. But my question is, how long after D-Day would be "ok" to start intimacy in the bedroom? I know a lot of factors come into play. It has almost been 3 weeks since D-day for me but there are a lot of things that have been triggering me and not sure if it will bring us closer or let her think that everything is ok, and minimize consequences.
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:30 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2025
Sorry, gotta say it.
It depends.
I personally learned to accept feedback from my "gut" (whatever that is) far more than before while surviving infidelity. If it hurts, just don’t fucking do it. It’s a pretty simple but helpful maxim while you are still blown apart.
Sorry you are here, truly. Best wishes.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:17 AM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2025
It is up to you and what you're comfortable doing. You may want to wait for clean STD results, just to be on the safe side.
Don't feel like you have to rush anything or do something you're not comfortable doing.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 3:22 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2025
Your wife has cheated on you and abandoned you several times. And every time she's done this, you've taken her back unconditionally and had lots of hysterical bonding.
So why would you do the same thing yet again and expect a different result?
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
Pogre ( new member #86173) posted at 4:07 PM on Wednesday, June 4th, 2025
A couple of days for us, and it's been hysterical bonding ever since, and it's every day for the last 6 weeks now. Sometimes twice a day. Both of us have gone into overdrive and it's pretty insane imo, actually, but neither of us are slowing down or showing any signs of running out of steam. I've been a whirlwind emotions, but one thing that's a contributing factor is that my WW wife came out of the fog pretty fast. Her infatuation with the A has been completely quashed and her focus is 100% on us now, which I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing (for it to be so sudden), but the intimacy has been pretty incredible. She vehemently says she hates her AP now, and I believe her. She has some very harsh things to say about him (and herself) for even doing it to begin with. Our situation isn't the same as yours, tho. Her affair was pretty short lived, I caught on fairly early, and it was just this one time.
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
