SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I don’t have to deal with the tension of being in the same house as her.

Ah, peace...blessed, blessed peace. It's so nice not to have the drama llama in the house.

Have fun making the space your own.

Dissolution court date: October 16, 2025!!!!!

Farther out than I was hoping, but I at least see the train station on the horizon. It will be here before you know it and my new life can officially begin.

Thank you to all my supportive brothers and sisters on this forum.

Wow! Just over a month away, so not too bad. Here's to crossing the finish line!

It really will be here before you know it. Keep practicing self-care and expect some tough moments still. The roller coaster is winding down, but not quite over yet.

Your finish line is in sight! I've been warned that almost everyone gets sad when the moment arrives. Let us know how it goes for you. I'm about to schedule consultations with mediators, so I'm barely over the starting line.

Honestly folks, the last 20 months of therapy, and an honest review of our marital past, and I truly believe her Hearst hasn’t been in the relationship for a very long time, maybe even 15-20 years. I discovered her secretly talking to old boyfriends as far back as 2004, 11 years ago she was sharing marital problems with men from her graduating class. Believe she got bored with the marriage a very long time ago and her heart just wasn’t in it. I believe she mostly stayed for the kids and for all the perks she got being married to me. Someone that dishonest really is such a turn off that I will be happy to be done with her and look forward to maybe meeting someone new who is both emotionally mature and respectful of me. I’m not sad that it’s about over, I’m sad that I put so much time into a one sided marriage.

Hi CMB,

Only four more days until "Dissolution Court Day".
How are you going brother?
Are you ready fo a new chapter in your life?

We'd love to hear from you,
Kind regards,
FaWH

FindingaWayHome, god damn right I’m looking forward to my new chapter. I got a lot of heat for putting in so many years trying everything I could to save my marriage, but once I realized she had no intentions to work on herself toward positive change, it made it so much easier to toss in the towel. I know 100% without a doubt that I’ll have no regrets for moving on. There’s nothing else I could have done. It’s not my failure for lack of effort and that gives me closure and peace. Am I sad that I pissed away over 4 years of my life trying, sure, but I needed to know inside of me that I tried everything I could. These last few months have been a little tough because I am technically legally bound to her and at any moment she would have the ability to change up our agreement and decide a different path thus prolonging the bond (legal bond). Once the judge signs that legal document, the lanyard comes off and I’m free to run with no ties to hold me back from future happiness. At least that’s how it feels to me. Thanks for the check in and concern.

Copingmybest

Congratulations for getting to this milestone. The initial euphoria fades, but it will show you that you are resilient, and right now it feels AMAZING! I know this feeling well. Enjoy it and stay for a bit in IC as you may start ruminating or having fleeting moments of sadness for the loss of the life you believed you could have.

Go rebrand yourself, do things you always wanted to but couldn't. Take a moment to pause and reset. This is a transformational period of your life where you are in total control.

I found that taking down photos, removing any residual gift reminders, and cleaning out my social media so no reminders of birthdays, and such popped up helped. I also redecorated my bedroom and spaces to be "mine" not ours. That was very important for me to feel like I owned the space now and he was banished.

Recently I've begun to purge old memories and have decided they once held a place in my heart, but now deserve to reside in a box in the garage, or other viable place that isn't in sight. Took me a seven years, but at first I planned to take a huge bag full of old cards I and letters I gave him back to him. Right now he has one previous set sitting on a shelf in his office. He won't throw them away, and he hasn't taken them to where he now resides with the most recent woman. I suspect he reflects over them like trophies and fears she might toss them.

I have few things of that nature he gave me. Perhaps that's less to ponder. Keep the parts of your life that feed your soul and discard the things that drain you. You are now free to explore new horizons.

Like Star Trek...live long and prosper.

Let us know how the day went when it comes.

So....how was "Dissolution Court Day" for you brother?
Regards,
FaWH

It started as a bittersweet day. Excited to be free from the emotional abuse and the chains that bound me to her financially should she decide to change her mind, but sad because it was the official dismantling of my family. Leading up to the actual courtroom was nerve racking as well as just being in there, but it was a bit surreal immediately after. We then walked to my attorneys office to each sign the quit-claim deeds to property each would recieve, she signed the stock transfer for my business, I wrote her a check for the current value of the UTV she was to receive, but when it came to the stock we both held in Tesla, I told her that the value had recently grown by another 100% and I couldn’t cash it out to pay her because I’d have to claim the gains as income and that would screw up my taxes and my IRA. She said to just write her a check, I said I didn’t have enough money left in my account to buy it, she then said just give me cash. I said NOPE. I’m going to create a Robinhood account in her name and do a transfer like the court papers said to. See, she just wants the money and doesn’t give a shit how it affects me, so yea, that bittersweet moment I was feeling earlier in the day switched to "thank god I’m done with that selfish bitch"! I guess it’s who she is and always has been. Oh well, her loss (well, monetary gain, but she lost a good man).

[This message edited by Copingmybest at 9:32 AM, Friday, October 17th]

Glad that part is over for you. It is bittersweet. It's like the closing of the casket and lowering it into the grave for your M. When I got the call that the D was final, I cried.

Feel the feels and know that it does get better. You can set up things how you like, do what you want and not have to think about your XWW, you'll find your joy.

A bittersweet congratulations to you. You will still have some ups and downs as your emotions catch up with where reality is. But it does get better and you’ll start to sense a real peace and contentedness.

Enjoy this next chapter and continue taking care of yourself.

Congrolences on your new status, Copingmybest! I hope the newfound freedom unfolds in good ways for you.