SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I haven’t posted on here at all, but I have read as many posts as I could to help me through this situation.

My DDay was last year in June. So it hasn’t been too long in the reconciliation process and even during that short time there were setbacks. Which we did overcome and I’m assuming there might be more on both our ends.

Anyway, I’ve come to find out just like movies and tv shows, cheating is a major topic that keeps showing up on social media. For weeks on end it disappears but then it remerges. Even if I press "uninterested".

Sometimes it makes me second guess why I’m even trying to fix us. Basically, at times it reminds me of the pain that was inflicted by someone that’s not supposed to do that to you.

For the ones who are still in reconciliation or even the ones who’s not, how do you deal with it.

Social Media has a very dark side. Minimize your time on it and watch your sense of peace increase.

JMO follows.

If you mean that you see a lot of anti-R posts on SM, I have some understanding of that.

I read a lot of SM posts on other forums, and some here, that distill down to 'I'm afraid I would think poorly of myself if I chose R. To make myself feel better, I'm going to say that everyone who chooses R is weak. Every man who chooses R must have low testosterone or be afraid to confront his W or be beta in some other way.'

I've read a lot of other SM posts that distill down to, 'I can't bear to face my pain, so I'm going to D and tell every other BS to D.'

But there are numerous other posts that say distill down to, 'My partner cheated on me, but that's because of their issues, not mine. But I still feel AWFUL. Can someone help me deal with this pain?'

Or -

'I know you feel like shit, but you did nothing wrong. Here are ways to deal with the pain and to survive and even thrive after being betrayed. But it takes work from you to do it.'

To get and retain viewers' and readers' interest, a drama has to be dramatic or funny. Shakespeare does that by writing about war or funny sitches. Nowadays, writers write about interpersonal relations, and there isn't much that's more moving than infidelity and its aftermath.

The trouble is that anything realistic about a BS recovering from infidelity is too dark for most people. At best, recovering and thriving after being betrayed requires a lot of pain, a lot of work, and a lot of change. Look at Silver Linings Playbook - great movie, a lot of of humor, but my W can't watch it. How many WSes can watch it? How many BSes?

So yeah, you can't go to a movie or play or watch a TV show or read a book without seeing some sort of betrayal.

Kids shows and movies are often OK, I'm told. Cooking and real estate shows are usually OK.

As I say, JMO.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:43 PM, Friday, September 26th]

The trouble is that anything realistic about a BS recovering from infidelity is too dark for most people.

BRAVO! I think this explains so much about human nature and about the lack of interest others often have in how BS's are faring.

It's kind of like when you buy a new car. All of a sudden you notice the same make and model all over the place when you never noticed before.

If you think SM is bad, try living with a WS who listens to country music all of the time...

I'm a metalhead myself. That's actually pretty safe music for recovering BSes. Tool is actually very introspective and thought provoking. They're my favorite band.

[This message edited by Pogre at 1:57 AM, Saturday, September 27th]

I agree with Chaos, social media has a very dark side. It just seems to get people angry and upset and fighting with each other.
Infidelity is often a topic in media, stories, dramas, even music, etc. I always get annoyed when I hear Me and Mrs. Jones - which is a great song BUT....the topic. It gets an emotional rise out of people one way or another and it's an easy topic to plow for dramatic use. It gets a rise out of people. At a sensitive time like this you might try to limit your exposure to SM and esp this topic as much as you can. It's what I try to do, they really go overboard on a lot of things.

Ugh, I feel for you - I hate country music myself. I was raised on it and I can't stand it. My husband listens to stuff I can't stand - not just that but whiny folk music (sorry folk music lovers) and like you, I love rock and disco too. That's my preference. So we try to be aware of each other's preferences and keep the volumes down, lol. But country is the worst if you're trying to get over infidelity because it's one of the main things they sing about, of course.

Social Media has a very dark side. Minimize your time on it and watch your sense of peace increase.

good advice

I limit myself to about 20 minutes a day - mostly on SI and one other of similar vein.

Its driving me mad too. It definitely does have a dark side

Facebook is particularly bad for it with the algorithm so if you have looked at something or even messaged someone about a certain topic it comes up in your feed. In my case I keep getting memes and quotes about a man's betrayal and cheating. Im sick of seeing it and limiting my time on there now. Every time I go on there Is something