RLF5454 (original poster new member #86556) posted at 3:14 AM on Sunday, September 28th, 2025
My WH is doing and saying everything right. I feel like R could really work. However, did anyone feel like they just can’t live full of anxiety and pain? His existence triggers me.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:00 PM on Sunday, September 28th, 2025
Yup. It took me 12 months to stop waking up every day with my first thoughts being "I can’t do this. I need to D him".
Just because the cheater wants to R does not mean the betrayed has to reconcile. Honestly if you are not going to be happy with your spouse (even long term) then cheating might be a deal breaker for you.
If that’s the case then S or D is your better choice.
What if you realize 6 months from now he’s slacked off and is not doing things you need? Do you think just because you committed to R that you cannot change your mind?
You are not (and never were) obligated or required to stay married. Period. Cheating or no cheating. If you become dissatisfied or unhappy and there is no resolution, then sometimes D is your only or best option.
I took first 2 years day by day. Helped me keep my sanity.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
