leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 9:19 PM on Sunday, November 2nd, 2025
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:18 PM on Sunday, January 25th, 2026
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
456tree456 ( new member #86965) posted at 2:42 PM on Monday, January 26th, 2026
Thank you, Sisoon for bumping this. I was really, really confused. Bc my WS is doing everything right. He's fired the AP, cut all social media w her, deleted pictures, listen to me in all things, hasn't blamed me at any moment, listens to me vent without contradicting me, is trying to get to the bottom of what happened, has humbled himself... is giving up activities he did to spend more time with me. The first time I read the 180 I was really confused. It sounded like something that the BS must do if the WS was still wavering. I think this soft version of the 180 makes more sense to me. I need to take care of myself. I need to run away from comparisons bw the AP and myself. But I don't have to put so much distance bw WS and myself. Bc our conversations and time together is what is healing me. If he didn't want me, I wouldn't want him either. I don't need him. But since he's chosen to completely end the affair and wants to continue our marriage.... I really need to understand what happened and how we can change and move forward.
Great post, SR Jr.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:47 PM on Monday, January 26th, 2026
Ah. Yes.
If you read old threads, you'll see Serjr's name pop up every so often. Pay attention. He's a genius!
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
