SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I overstayed. I gave WS too many chances to hurt me. The whole time, I didn’t let myself get angry or resentful. I was just overwhelmingly sad. Even after WS finally disclosed the true intention of divorce, after stringing me along whilst trying to fix up plan to coordinate divorce with the AP at the same time.

However, I found it became very hard not to be resentful, when the WS tried to rewrite history repeatedly to our kids.

I want to let go, but it is just so hard constantly being pulled back to the crap. The thought of co-parenting with the WS and its AP kills me.

Fuck life!

When they do, chances are they will come back.
In my experience at least, they always do.

My two cents: don’t take them back.

Is not worthy.
They showed you their worth.

You are worthy. Don’t waste it.

I was thinking about this place and thought I'd check in. It's been some years. I still feel blessed that I got an easy abrupt ejection vs. being emotionally drawn and quartered over several years. I also worked hard to rebuild my life after and got lucky there too. I still remember what it felt like in those early days and weeks. Rock bottom.

There's a good life after rock bottom if you work toward one.

Mine left me for AP - he looked me in the eye and told me straight he wanted to be with her. I broke down, it was 2 days before my dad's funeral and my 7 week old was next to me. AP didn't know about us still being together and left him when she found out. I took him back as I had awful PND with even worse separation anxiety, all I could think about was ending my life when I returned home from dropping him off at WS's as I could not cope in my empty house. When it was clear AP had no interest in reconciling, he came crawling back. I welcomed him back with open arms so I didn't have to split my baby.

This was 16 months ago. We get married in less than 4 weeks. However I don't ever know how I will get over the fact I was second best to him. I compare every bit of myself to AP - a slim, pretty, blonde girl in her 20s. I've had 4 kids which has taken its toll on my body and I'm older, not to mention nowhere near as beautiful. I stalk her socials, I don't know why - I found out about the affair so I think I subconsciously try to give myself reassurance - however it's killing me to keep looking at her, I don't know how to break the cycle.

We will never win, but the grass is certainly not greener if they come back. I always wonder where I'd be if I had found the strength to not take him back after he destroyed my life.

I’m in this boat as well. My WS left me for AP. I am a little over a year from discovery and in the middle of divorce proceedings. I have minimal contact w WS but I am still hurting from his actions. I still get stuck on "how could he be so cruel and cold to me?" I have weak moments at times and I recently looked up his AP. Found out she recently got a good promotion at work. It’s so hard to swallow that this low life woman who knew this man had a wife and family, willingly got into a relationship with my WS. Here I am sad and struggling and she is with my husband and getting job promotions, also even accepting large loans of money from him, our money! I don’t mean to have a pity party for myself but some days are very hard. I know my WS is the worst in all of this, but it just all hurts and I am going thru a rough patch. We are all going through similar things and we are all here for each other so don’t feel alone…praying for better days ahead for all of us affected