Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 9:14 PM on Friday, May 9th, 2025
Tanner...woohoo Coozann...it is AWESOME to see you on here too 
!!! It feels like Christmas season now instead of A season 
!!
Aww shaa...thank you for your kind words Cuz 
. You are absolutely right...we CAN retrain our lizard brain! Once we learn that it is from our experience...then the more POSITIVE experiences we have...the better our lizard brain will retrain itself .
One of the things I brought up in my last post was Mother's Day. It is because before we found out about the google timeline...my H thought that he had met the adultery co-conspirator after my birthday...which is a few days after Mother's Day. So we deduced that they actually met on another day by process of elimination...and we planned a positive experience to combat that triggery day. It wasn't until a few years later...when the google timeline showed the ACTUAL day that they met...and by that time I figured I was healed enough to not worry about it.
Only...I didn't realize that it was on Mother's Day that they met until a few years after that 
. So that made it more triggery. They don't celebrate Mother's Day in her country on the same day as here in America...but it was still like a slap in the face to me when I found out THE DAY they met was also Mother's Day 
.
We have done a few things to combat that trigger...but we really wanted to plan a super OVER THE TOP experience to ENJOY this day. Without going into too much detail...we haven't been able to get a plan together just yet...but we have our whole lifetime to get it just right !!
BUT...that other day...the day that we thought was the day they met? I used to be so triggered on that day at first and now...I can't even remember what day that was !! And...May 11th didn't even cross my mind at first because my H thought it was after my birthday when they met...so it was just "another day"...until after the google timeline told me otherwise 
. Lizard brain kicks in to let me know what I was experiencing on that day...even though it was a few years after the fact. Just WEIRD!
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 2:00 AM on Saturday, May 10th, 2025
Dates can be tough even without infidelity. Mothers Day 2009 we got the catastrophic diagnosis got our 5 month old Son. It began a life time of hospitalizations, in home nursing and 24 hour care.
Mother’s Day 2019 was last time we saw our MIL before her suicide in 2021. Mother’s Day is tough and it’s not due to infidelity.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years
