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Newest Member: Betrayed1000XBy1

New Beginnings :
Flying Solo for Holidays?

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Chili (original poster member #35503) posted at 10:07 PM on Tuesday, December 15th, 2020

This will be a first for me - to not travel and be with family or friends - visit or host or whatnot. I know I'll be in (probably lots of) contact with folks, but really it'll just be me and the pup.

I'm not particularly blue about it - 'cause you know, 2020 - and that's been the norm for me this year.

Just trying to cipher out what the hell I might want to do with myself to make a moment. Maybe a stroll in the woods or cook up a big pot of _____? Or it might be cool to make some music.

It would've been a perfect time to go somewhere and volunteer, but yeah, see above.

Any one else flying solo got a game plan for a thing?

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2238   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8616930
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AnnieOakley ( member #13332) posted at 12:01 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Hi Chili, I’m solo too, albeit not the first since my divorce. I think it feels different because...well 2020 as you say...but I was planning on a relationship this year. Ha...back to 2020.

I’m making our family tradition for dinner that I’ve not done in several years. Have already sent off some baked goods to my parents and their elderly neighbors...again something I’ve not done in a long time. But who cares about calories!

I’ve watched Elf and Die Hard. Am thinking about The Godfather series too. I did a lot of volunteering a couple months back but am staying close to home as are most people-I’m in CA. I’ve also started taking an early evening walk The Christmas lights are up, sorta chilly and dark. But more quiet. Taking one day at a time ... ☮️

Me= BSHim=xWH (did the work & became the man I always thought he was, but it was too late)M=23+,T=27+dday=7/06, 8/09 (pics at a work function), 11/09 VAR, 6/12 Sep'd, 10/14 Divorced."If you are going through hell, keep going."

posts: 1722   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2007   ·   location: Pacific Time Zone
id 8616967
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Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 1:10 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

I have the kids, but because I love alone as well, I can have 1 or 2 people in my bubble, so a single buddy of mine, my best friend, will join me for Christmas. After my kids leave, it will be just us, a bottle of scotch, and we will solve all the world's ills...

I'm an oulier in my positions.

Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.

Divorced

posts: 1863   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8616987
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Outoflove2020 ( member #72682) posted at 2:05 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

I had plans to go out west to just be away from here over Christmas, but cancelled those plans thanks to 'rona and all that. I am also not going home to the UK for the same reason.

So I will be here, mostly alone. I have overdone it with the Christmas decorations as my xWBF is Jewish so I compromised on that as he wanted the kids to focus on their Jewish culture, and not the Christmas culture. I'm so happy with how my apartment looks. Fortunately I have a friend and her roommate who are part of my bubble who will also be around, so we are getting together on Christmas Eve for dinner (at their place) and Christmas Day for dinner (at my place). And while I am very very glad I won't physically be alone, I'm anxious about how I'm going to be feeling, given where I / we were last year and given that Christmas is the most important holiday for me. I'm a natural worrywart which doesn't help, and I'm trying to reframe it as creating new traditions....but I'm just so exhausted and tired with just trying to get through the first anniversary of A season, that it's really hard to refocus my mindset.

Don't get me wrong, I am very pleased I will have company but it will be my first Christmas not with family so, quite frankly, I'm very worried about it.

DDay 1/15/2020.
Separated 3/1/2020

Still healing but in a better place

posts: 375   ·   registered: Jan. 28th, 2020   ·   location: DC Area
id 8617000
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:37 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

I’ll probably see my bubble on Xmas eve, but I plan to open my SI Christmas cards, make my dad’s delicious beef bourginon (misspelled - but still tasty :-) ), and spend some time just being. Just thinking of my parents and others who are not here. Thinking of how far I’ve come and maybe start making plans for 2021. I’ll FaceTime with my brothers and their families at some point.

I did this last year and it was really glorious. There is something decadent about taking a day to luxuriate in your own thoughts and dreams. Plus good food, natch.

My house is all decorated, I have a live tree in the backyard I can see it from lots of rooms (but cats can’t destroy), a little artificial in the front window, and a million twinkle lights. Our stockings (me and cats) are on the mantle. It’s going to be just fine.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6198   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8617010
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:13 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Beef bourguignon is my go-to holiday feast for one, with parmesan garlic mashed potatoes whipped with squash and a nice bottle of something red.

The leftovers are the best.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21575   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8617020
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Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 3:49 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Beef bourguignon

____________________

Recipe please?

My bubble will be with my daughter. It's a good thing we like each other and get along. Although she does tend to be bossy at times. We have also went overboard with decorations and I love it. She is very artistic and creative and has made some absolutely beautiful wreaths and we have been leaving them on friends and neighbor's porch after dark, as gifts. We've decided to leave up our heavily decorated tree for a while after the holidays. Not sure what we will cook but she's more health conscious than me, I love lots of goodies like cookies and fudge and different types of breads.

Maybe next year we can come back to this thread and hopefully see what a better holiday we are having in 2021.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8617026
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:56 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Basically beef stew with red wine, tons of mushrooms and garlic.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21575   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8617028
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 10:43 AM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

My 17 year old DS and I will celebrate at home this year on Christmas day (however, I'm sure he will bolt for his girlfriends in the afternoon). I have to come up with meal plans for him and I. That BB sounds really good.

I will travel to my former in-laws the day after Christmas for a long overdue visit with nieces and even if we aren't blood related, we still love each other and they like me more than the blood relative who left.

After that, I plan to ride my bicycle on New Year's Eve and New Year's Day to send 2020 away and claim the promise of 2021.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 531   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8617057
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 2:10 PM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

I'll have my kids on Christmas eve until 6pm. I'll probably cook the family spaghetti recipe with fried meatballs and eggplant. So Christmas I'll be solo. Alls good though. I'll make some phone calls to friends and family and just enjoy the day. Calm and relaxing!

posts: 1113   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8617088
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BentandBroken ( member #72519) posted at 4:11 PM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

Just me and the cats this year. My second Christmas since Dday and, surprisingly, this one is worse.

I appreciate hearing about others' plans, as it may help motivate me to do something. I did put up some lights and a tree, which are nice to look at in the evenings.

20+ year relationship; Never officially married
Dday November 2019
4 wonderful grown children
WH multiple APs, currently involved with married COW
Kicked him out on Dday and that was that

posts: 329   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2020   ·   location: Michigan
id 8617119
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 10:46 PM on Wednesday, December 16th, 2020

My kids are all in the UK for Christmas this year which is fine. I've had them for an unexpectedly long period of time this year so I'm not unhappy about not feeding the lions all the time.

I'm actually getting my eye bags removed (belpharoplasty) on Monday 12/21!! I've wanted to do this for years and something about this pandemic (the fact that when I wear a mass all I can see are my damn eye bags). I've never had plastic surgery done before but it's the one thing that I would like to have corrected and it's hereditary (my mom and one of my sisters has already had it done).

The surgery was originally scheduled earlier this month but was pushed back to next week and that's fine. It's not like I'm missing out on holiday parties this year. Sigh. I love parties. So I basically plan to spend next week hunkered down in my house recovering from that.

On Christmas Day I'll drive to my parents house which is an hour away, have a late lunch with them and then come home. My younger two kids return on Boxing Day so it's not that much time on my own.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3426   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8617215
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, December 18th, 2020

I'm doing Christmas with my daughters this coming weekend. Tomorrow I'm cooking and pulling out all the stops... even bought a nice tree. We'll open presents Sunday night. The girls will be going to my xWW's parent's house for the annual Christmas Eve party where a good 100+ guidos will be attending. They have cousins who will be there whom they love dearly and never get to see much so I would not begrudge them spending Christmas with their mom. I'm sure the xWW will set aside her whoring for a couple days and act like a lady. She is capable of doing so when she needs to.

I'll go and endure a shitty Christmas Eve meal with my parents. My mom is the worst cook on Earth, but she won't let me and my sisters help her even though we are vastly better cooks than her. But I shall survive it. Then I will spend Christmas day with some good friends at their house just watching sports, drinking and grazing.

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8617746
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Westway ( member #71747) posted at 4:10 PM on Friday, December 18th, 2020

double double post post

[This message edited by Westway at 10:10 AM, December 18th (Friday)]

Me: 52;

XWW: 50 y.o. serial cheater

Married 22 years, Together 24
2 Daughters: aged 16 and 20
DDay: 9/20/19
Divorced 12/03/20.

posts: 1366   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2019   ·   location: USA
id 8617747
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 6:08 AM on Saturday, December 19th, 2020

Christmas plans are basically the same as Thanksgiving for me. Just me at my house fixing a nice meal for myself (I'm a good cook and have been expanding my repertoire during the pandemic) and opening some presents that have been sent to me. I have family near me but should follow the guidelines and be safe since they are around others and the area has increasing cases like everywhere,

although not nearly as bad. Doing my part to keep it from getting even worse.

My kids are all over and we do family Zoom visits, so I do see them and presume we will do one on Christmas too. Haven't heard definitely but it would be a good time for it.

Hoping by this time next year, we can do our (former) usual get-together.

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 8617999
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Karmafan ( member #53810) posted at 3:31 PM on Saturday, December 19th, 2020

I will be spending Christmas Eve on my own and Christmas Day with my children. First ever time we don’t go back home but I will honour the Italian tradition by roasting a leg of lamb and eating Panettone. I will FaceTime with my parents, delight in my kids’ joy in opening their presents, and watch something lighthearted on Netflix.

But mainly, I’ll be counting my blessings and the fact that I haven’t lost anyone close through this pandemic. Not every family can say the same

It will also be my first ‘single’ Christmas in four years, and I am actually glad to be able to devote all my attention to my babies and myself. This year has certainly been tough but, personally for me, it has also been cathartic. The sense that life can be taken away in a heartbeat made me realise that I didn’t want to waste another minute on situations and people who weren’t making me happy

[This message edited by Karmafan at 2:01 AM, December 20th (Sunday)]

Me 48 XWH Irrelevant D-day 23 Feb 163 amazing, resilient kids

You are not a drop in the Ocean, you are the entire Ocean in a drop

posts: 639   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2016   ·   location: UK
id 8618037
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Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 7:03 PM on Saturday, December 19th, 2020

I will be spending Christmas at my parents house. My parents don't celebrate it but I've gotten used to spending it with my friends and/or my wexBF for the last 5 years. So it will be nice to be around people.

For NYE's my best friend invited me to spend it with her and her GF and I'm so very grateful for that invitation. We'll be playing Party&Co with just the three of us.

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 271   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8618066
Topic is Sleeping.
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