SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I used my boyfriend's computer to use the artificial intelligence chat for school. Only to find out he was using the artificial intelligence chat to talk about wanting to fuck his manager on the day of last year August 18 2025. For a bit of background story (I accused him for several months prior of having a crush on this manager because he would constantly look at her instagram page,he swore he didn't but than eventually confessed he did have a crush. I told him to stop going on her instagram page as it's disrespectful and he did it one more time resulting in a huge argument where I demanded he delete the whole instagram app or we're done. He complied and deleted the instagam app saying he doesn't want to lose me.) so I discovered the artificial intelligence in their prior conversation back in 2025 told him it was a bad idea to cheat on his girlfriend Then my boyfriend states "I'm just going to do it anyway".The artificial intelligence asked him why does he want to do it. does he know how much devastation it would cause then he says "but she has a big Asian ass" the artificial intelligence then says would he like for it to at least suggest ways for him to not cheat and then he said"yes". What gets me so angry was during the time he asked the artificial intelligence this question we had a huge argument over money and he apologized to me for being wrong that day. When I assume secretly he still felt angry and was debating if he should cheat on me. I confronted my boyfriend about it and he began crying begging me not to leave him for something he wrote back in 2025.he said he was just trolling the app and wanted to see what it would say about him cheating but had no intention on actually cheating on me. He said he took our relationship for granted back than he felt I would always be there no matter what. I said so you thought I'd be there if you cheated? He said no I just thought that if I did stuff like this which isn't as bad as actually going out cheating that you would stick by me and nothing would really happen.so I kicked him out of our home and he went to stay with his moms temporarily. I miss him so badly and he's told me he's learned his lesson. he's swears up and down he wasn't going to physically cheat on me with his coworker/manager. but I don't know if I can believe him after what I've seen from his artificial intelligence conversation. I don't know why it's so hard for me to just leave him after all of this. Because I still love him.

Thoughts can easily turn into behavior. Sometimes discussing thoughts can help suppress the behavior but this isn't it.

Also, did he literally mention that woman has a big Asian ass?

Umm no he was planning to cheat. This wasn’t idle behavior - he was looking up how to do it and get what he wanted.

Hes not the guy you think he is.

I don't know why it's so hard for me to just leave him after all of this. Because I still love him.

Understood. It gets minimized a lot but emotional enmeshment is a powerful thing. At the end of the day though, self preservation has to kick in at some point, particularly when dealing with blatant betrayal or plans to do so which this clearly is. I also think when there is a disparity in affinity (youre into him more than he is into you), a kind of love blindness exists.

Put bluntly, you have plenty of cause to move on from him....with haste.

I wish you well.

SPAM

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:55 PM, Tuesday, January 27th]

"Umm no he was planning to cheat. This wasn’t idle behavior - he was looking up how to do it and get what he wanted.

Hes not the guy you think he is."

I would think so but the artificial intelligence asked him if he would like to hear ways on how to avoid cheating with his manager towards the end and he said yes. If he was just looking to cheat on me and get tips on it he wouldn't have said yes to the question at the end

"Also, did he literally mention that woman has a big Asian ass?"

Unfortunately

"Understood. It gets minimized a lot but emotional enmeshment is a powerful thing. At the end of the day though, self preservation has to kick in at some point, particularly when dealing with blatant betrayal or plans to do so which this clearly is. I also think when there is a disparity in affinity (youre into him more than he is into you), a kind of love blindness exists."

I've used artificial intelligence to troll it and see what it would say sometimes. But I would never put up my relationship for that type of risk. I'm conflicted because part of me wants to believe that he was just trolling the application. But another part of me is worried that he was trying to find ways to cheat as you say.

He failed the boyfriend test.

Move on.

I'm conflicted

Can you elucidate your inner conflict? The feedback here has been pretty consistent that this guy is planning on betraying your relationship (this is assuming, of course, that your relationship is mutually understood to be monogomously exclusive...gotta clarify this these days). If you got even more clear evidence that he is going down the path of infidelity, are you ready and willing to end it? If he followed through with his plans, would you leave him then? Im trying to understand where the line is for you.

I’m not sure how old you are but I’m going to assume you are rather young ( maybe 20s).

I’m going to say this based on experience as an older and more experienced woman.

This is not a guy you can trust. He had intentions of cheating (even if he didn’t follow through). That is a huge red flag 🚩🚩🚩. He disrespected you — you confronted him — he then went on Instagram again — you found out again.

He had a crush on another person 🚩🚩🚩🤪. Not a good sign - and it was OBVIOUS!!! Again he disrespected you.

He had plans to physically cheat. Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. The point is he abandoned YOUR RELATIONSHIP and cheated by pursuing someone else.

I’m going to give you a dose of reality. I have about 20 friends & family that were all cheated on during their dating life. Some were pre-engagement and some cheating during their engagement. All 20 married the cheater. And all 20 were cheated on during their marriage. Most were cheated on more than once. Some stayed married but were miserable. Most D.

This guy is giving you a bullshit sob story. He wants to protect himself — and continue to be in a relationship w/ you. He’s selfish and is looking out for himself.

His actions don’t point to you being his top priority. The fact he had a crush on someone else while in a relationship w/ you is not a good sign.

Please consider your own future apart from him and consider the fact that you deserve better than to be in second place b/c your Boyfriend has a crush on someone else.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 11:54 AM, Tuesday, January 27th]

"Also, did he literally mention that woman has a big Asian ass?"

Unfortunately

Too immature to be in a relationship, he is not boyfriend material, at best you can date a guy like that but he is not exclusive to you, so you must be knowing what poison you are picking.

If it’s for fun, okay (just use protection) still he’s pretty childish and you seem more emotionally mature.

That was the gentleman version.

This is what I truly think about what you told:
- he is not just exploring as a single, he is also a cheater so fucked up morally and in character. It will destroy your life.
- for you he is your lovely sweetheart, for him you’re a hole and secured validation for his fucked up insecurities
- he sees other women as holes, is all transactional with nothing given from him, he only cares to get off for his ego to soothe his insecurities
- if he had any balls he’d leave you and go have fun as singles, not keeping you as collateral while he fools around

And my impression: you are a girl who has need for a relationship and eventually a future, you are not his object and safety net, and he is promising you a jump off a cliff where only you will be pushed down.

You deserve better

'Can you elucidate your inner conflict? The feedback here has been pretty consistent that this guy is planning on betraying your relationship (this is assuming, of course, that your relationship is mutually understood to be monogomously exclusive...gotta clarify this these days). If you got even more clear evidence that he is going down the path of infidelity, are you ready and willing to end it? If he followed through with his plans, would you leave him then? Im trying to understand where the line is for you."

Sure no problem. My inner conflict is the fact that at the end of the conversation he did say he would like chat gpT to tell him tools on how to not cheat on me. I'm also conflicted because I've also used chatgpt to troll with the algorithm myself. My boyfriend has no problem getting sex and could easily cheat on me if he wanted to yet I've never seen him physically cheat. Emotionally cheating is clearly the issue though. I'm definitely ending things if he physically cheats.

,"Too immature to be in a relationship, he is not boyfriend material, at best you can date a guy like that but he is not exclusive to you, so you must be knowing what poison you are picking.

If it’s for fun, okay (just use protection) still he’s pretty childish and you seem more emotionally mature.

That was the gentleman version.

This is what I truly think about what you told:
- he is not just exploring as a single, he is also a cheater so fucked up morally and in character. It will destroy your life.
- for you he is your lovely sweetheart, for him you’re a hole and secured validation for his fucked up insecurities
- he sees other women as holes, is all transactional with nothing given from him, he only cares to get off for his ego to soothe his insecurities
- if he had any balls he’d leave you and go have fun as singles, not keeping you as collateral while he fools around

And my impression: you are a girl who has need for a relationship and eventually a future, you are not his object and safety net, and he is promising you a jump off a cliff where only you will be pushed down.

You deserve better"

It seems to be very accurate he has a p*** addiction and sex addiction

"He had plans to physically cheat. Maybe he did and maybe he didn’t. The point is he abandoned YOUR RELATIONSHIP and cheated by pursuing someone else."

I know he disrespected me. I feel extremely disrespected and disgusted. I know he abandoned our relationship emotionally thats just a stone cold fact. It's hard to just break up over something that never happened. He claims he never would have physically cheated.

Sure no problem. My inner conflict is the fact that at the end of the conversation he did say he would like chat gpT to tell him tools on how to not cheat on me. I'm also conflicted because I've also used chatgpt to troll with the algorithm myself. My boyfriend has no problem getting sex and could easily cheat on me if he wanted to yet I've never seen him physically cheat. Emotionally cheating is clearly the issue though. I'm definitely ending things if he physically cheats.

The reason people don’t cheat is never because they can’t, is because betrayal is bad and extremely hurtful for the person betrayed, gives you trauma and ptsd.

Same reason why people don’t steal, is not because it’s hard, is because it’s bad
Or why people don’t kill.
We can go on.

People who cheat are messed up.

Emotional betrayal is betrayal, he already crossed that line, and believe me, men rarely get emotional with a woman if we didn’t have sex with her.
It’s easy to have sex and feel absolutely nothing for a girl, I know you don’t understand it fully but it’s the truth.

And if you stay with someone with that mindset, you are not in a relationship, it’s transactional and since you seem to want more, it will hurt you to a point I wish you never experience

Sure no problem. My inner conflict is the fact that at the end of the conversation he did say he would like chat gpT to tell him tools on how to not cheat on me. I'm also conflicted because I've also used chatgpt to troll with the algorithm myself. My boyfriend has no problem getting sex and could easily cheat on me if he wanted to yet I've never seen him physically cheat. Emotionally cheating is clearly the issue though. I'm definitely ending things if he physically cheats.

By "physically cheats" do you mean intercourse? Oral? Kissing? Hand job? Heavy petting? Where is the "physically cheating" line for you? Furthermore, how would you prove the cheating took place?

As a faithful husband of a wonderful & faithful wife (also a survivor of a brutal betrayal by a consumate scammer who was a complete pos) and father of multiple grown woman, Im going to challenge you now. Hard. Why in Gods name would you ever put up with this level of disrespect??? Why would it take actual relationship treason for you to pump the brakes on this and call him up short?

Im going to recommend some serious self development work in the form of individual counseling. Have you run this situation by a trusted and mature friend/role model for objective input? I can tell you what the women in my life would say about this scenario.

Value yourself. Know your worth and believe it. After all, if you dont, who will?

I'm definitely ending things if he physically cheats.

Ladykaina, I'll ask this a little more gently - why wait? You can break up with someone at any time for any reason. The whole point of dating is that you aren't yet in a committed, life long partnership. You're trying each other out.

Clearly you're angry about his behavior, but it sounds to me like you're guilt-tripping yourself into staying, as if you need a "better" reason to break up with him. You really don't. Yes, he will be sad and so will you for a while. He might cry and beg. Breaking up is rarely easy, but sometimes doing the hard thing is what's best for your future.

Also, please think about the risks for when he crosses that physical line. So many people have learned about their partner's cheating by getting an STI. I know one woman had to have her uterus removed because of it, another who got genital herpes for life. Do you really want to risk your health for this guy?

Based on what you have told us he would have readily gone to bed with her given the opportunity. He has clearly indicated on multiple occasions that he is incapable of fidelity. You said you don't want to break up with him over something that has not happened but an affair has happened

He took concrete steps to figure out a way to sleep with his manager. You caught him cheating, gave him a second chance, he did it again, why continue giving him chances? You are only enabling his behavior because there are no consequences

You have shown him that he can cheat and the worst that happens is you get upset yet you will stay. His behavior will only escalate.

"Ladykaina, I'll ask this a little more gently - why wait? You can break up with someone at any time for any reason. The whole point of dating is that you aren't yet in a committed, life long partnership. You're trying each other out.

Clearly you're angry about his behavior, but it sounds to me like you're guilt-tripping yourself into staying, as if you need a "better" reason to break up with him. You really don't. Yes, he will be sad and so will you for a while. He might cry and beg. Breaking up is rarely easy, but sometimes doing the hard thing is what's best for your future.

Also, please think about the risks for when he crosses that physical line. So many people have learned about their partner's cheating by getting an STI. I know one woman had to have her uterus removed because of it, another who got genital herpes for life. Do you really want to risk your health for this guy?"

It's not about waiting for"when " it happens it's not a guarantee he's going to physically cheat on me if he stops having emotional affairs.but it's definitely a guarantee if he continues which he's claiming he's learned his lesson after I kicked him out.